Remember the good old days? You had a phone on your desk. Even more amazingly, in many businesses you had a gatekeeper for that phone - a receptionist, secretary, or assistant. He/she would screen your calls and only “put them through” if you wanted to talk to the caller. You could simply say, “Mary, hold my calls, please,” and that was it: peace.

And then someone invented the cell phone. The concept started as a car phone.

I justified my first one as a safety device. Here in Vermont in the winter, who could argue? The good thing about those early car phones was the hands-free operation. Some even had a battery so you could haul the thing around with you if you were so inclined.

Then they became portable. Really portable. And that’s when the trouble started. Phones ringing in movie theaters and restaurants were the first big hassle. Then we started hearing about inappropriate use almost everywhere, including, if you can believe it, at funerals.

It seems like people forgot how to turn it off. Salesmen were great at showing you all the features and capabilities. I never recall having a salesperson show me how to turn it off.

What happened?

It’s simple really. We became slaves to the cell phone. We used it because we could. We failed to tame the beast. We failed to say, “Mary, hold my calls.” In the process we let the cell phone become an instrument for our rudeness. When we said, “Mary, hold my calls,” as we started a meeting, we were showing respect for the people we were with.

They deserved our full attention, and Mary made sure they received it. We were in control (or at least we delegated control to Mary who had more than we did because her job depended on it.)

Real estate agents live by the phone. The convenience of the cell phone has revolutionized the real estate business by making agents easily available almost continuously. And yet, therein lies the problem. When an agent is with a prospect, client or customer and the agent’s cell phone rings, the interruption is a gross breach of etiquette; it is rude.

News flash! Cell phones have voice mail capability. Turn off the phone. Build your relationship with the people you are meeting. Then, after the meeting, check your messages and return calls. Now you are master of the cell phone and no longer its slave.

One exception to the rule: We all know there are moments when you as an agent are waiting for a response to an offer or you are trying to make an offer on behalf of a client. But you also have a meeting. When you start the meeting, explain the situation to the person with whom you are meeting. Indicate the urgency of the matter and ask them for their permission to let you have the phone on so you can take care of the offer. Tell them you will be expeditious. Given forewarning, they will be ready and will excuse the interruption if it occurs.

The key here is not to make a habit of doing this and not to accept other calls while your phone is on. You can always check the display to see if it is the call you are expecting. Put the phone on vibrate - the incessant ringing doesn’t become a distraction for the people you are with.

The bottom line? Face-to-face interactions take precedence. Defer to them and you will make the right choices with your cell phone. Do that and the cell phone becomes a tool to help you do better business.