| October 29, 2002 |
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In the real estate transaction, you should always document, document, document, but that doesn't mean you are safe from trouble if you do. Your seller can put you at tremendous risk by simply telling you a lie. Any lie can have consequences whether they are big or small - a lie can cause you to waste time, put the closing in jeopardy, or make you liable for something you shouldn't be. So how can you spot when your seller is lying, and what can you do about it? Pardon the pun, but you can start by boning up on the latest body language techniques. Liars are generally found out because it is hard for most to control the mixed messages their minds and bodies are in conflict about. So, it's the mixed message you want to look for - a big smile, but no twinkle in the eyes; a firm handshake, but the body is turned away or otherwise closed off from you. Liars often rely on a calming mechanism. If the seller appears more interested in smoothing the folds of her clothes or brushing lint off his shirt than looking you in the eye, then s/he's possibly being deceptive with you. People also widen their eyes while they lie, and let nervousness go to their feet with tapping toes, or crossing and uncrossing legs. Listen to liars - their voices often change in the middle of a lie, they change pitch, they add more "um's" and "uh's, they put hands near the mouth, or they talk faster or slower than usual. But body language and speech patterns are most helpful if you know the other person, and can spot a contradiction in demeanor. What if you are working with a seller you hardly know - would you be able to tell if s/he is lying to you? As with body language, you can count on actions to tell you what you want to know. When actions match words, you have sincerity. When actions don't match words, you have a mixed message - a lie. Lies can be innocently meant - such as to save your feelings. A seller didn't have the heart to tell you, but she gave the listing to someone else. While that's nice that your feelings did matter, did you find out before or after you helped her out by fixing the shingles on the roof, raking the dead grass, and touching up the garage with a little paint? And did she tell you to your face, or did you find out when the other agent's sign went in the yard? The one thing you can count on with a liar is that you are always headed to the point faster than s/he is. Liars are all about noncommitment. Liars generally have lots of excuses they are ready to parade for not making a commitment to you - their last agent was lousy, it's a seller's market, or they want you to "prove yourself." All you need to know is that sincere people get down to business. Liars don't. They throw up lots of hurdles for you to leap over, barriers to prevent you from doing your job, and surprises for you to dodge. Sincere people want to move forward and make it easy for all concerned to do so. Liars can be dreamers and get you caught in their fantasies. Sincere people respect your professionalism, and they ealize you don't have time for fantasies. The best defense against a seller who may lie to you is to start with an awareness of sellers in general. Boiled down to two kinds - the best-case seller is one who is familiar with the market, is reasonable about the market price of his/her home, has done needed repairs or is willing to make repairs, knows what his/her financial situation is as far as being able to sell the home, and knows when s/he wants to sell and where s/he wants to go. A worst-case seller is one who is not familiar with the market, unrealistic about the value of the home or making the home marketable, and wants to "test the market" - with your time and experience. In short, a best-case seller is motivated. The worst-case seller is manipulative. Which do you think is more likely to lie to you? Sellers have been known to lie about everything from their intention to list with you to serious problems the home may have. Your job is to develop your profiling skills and determine which kind of seller you are dealing with. Here are a few ideas that may help you:
What to do when you catch someone in a lie When you catch someone in a lie, you really have only two things you can do - give them a way out or give them no way out. Your response will depend largely on whether you are a draw-a-line-in-the-sand type of person.
Your job is to protect the seller as much as to protect yourself, and a little babying goes along with the job. |
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