Don’t you just wonder what those jerks get out of creating and sending out e-mail viruses to damage computers all over the world? And how about those who concoct credible-sounding e-mail hoaxes that only waste people’s time?

Almost as bad are the people who send you fake virus alerts, sometimes asking you to locate some file in your computer. Imagine how silly it seems that trusting (but naïve) people blindly go ahead and delete a file in their Windows program simply because the file (claimed in the e-mail alert to be the computer equivalent of the Death Star in Spielberg movies) exists.

Imagine that they take such action solely from detailed instructions found in an e-mail that they got from some friend, who got it from some friend, who got….. etc. etc. ad infinitum.

But those warnings and “incredible tales” all sound so credible, don’t they? So, what do you do when you get one? You not only act on them if they require it, but you send them on to everyone in your address book “to save them from the danger,” thus further wasting people’s time. What a pal you are.

But would you like to do something different? Would you like to process and research the credibility of such e-mails that you get in an intelligent manner? Would you like to appear less naive to your friends who know that those “virus alerts” and “free lunch” opportunities that you get and forward to them are hoaxes?

(What they know that you do not know that is just shake their heads and delete each one that they get from you, ignoring its promises of riches, phenomenal coincidence, or doom. Above all, they do not forward your e-mail to everyone that they know as you do all the time.)

Would you like to find out for yourself if the information you get in e-mails is true before you blindly forward it to everyone you know?

Then here is all that you need to do.

• Read below
• Do what it says

These are the sites for checking hoaxes to see what is real and what is a hoax:

• http://www.snopes.com/
• http://truthorfiction.com/search.htm
• http://www.urbanlegends.com/
• http://www.geocities.com/healthbase/anti_quack_sites.html
• http://vmyths.com/hoax.cfm

Here is what you should do now:

• Create a new inbox folder in your e-mail inbox and call it “Hoaxes; Verifying”
• Copy the above URLS and e-mail them to yourself.
• Receive that e-mail and file it in your new “Hoaxes; Verifying” inbox folder
• Remember that you did this.
• Next time you get a hoax-looking email, go to this folder.
• Even if it is a hoax, do not forward the original e-mail to everyone you know.

Here are the two main places on the web to check to see if a virus warning is real or is a hoax:

• http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html
• http://vil.mcafee.com/hoax.asp

Here is what you should do now:

• Create a new inbox folder in your e-mail inbox and call it “Viruses; Verifying”
• Copy the above URLS and e-mail them to yourself.
• Receive that e-mail and file it in your new “Viruses; Verifying” inbox folder
• Remember that you did this.
• Next time you get a “virus warning,” go to this folder.
• If it turns out to be a virus, do not warn others. They already know or are running anti-virus software to protect them. If they are not using antivirus software by now, they deserve to get infected by the virus anyway, because they are too feeble-minded to be using the Internet or, just as likely, even to be your friend. (Think about it)

I do encourage you to forward just one thing to your friends. Send them this column. All of it. Or, send them its URL.

Tell them, in turn, to send it to all of their friends and so on. Let this column extend itself, virally, to each of the millions of e-mail users out there until everyone has read it.

Then, when everyone has read it, and saved it, and uses its links to verify every single one of those incredible e-mails that they get….it actually won’t matter anymore because we will all be using the new-fangled virus-free protocols for “mental telepathy.”