My own experience with contractors has been mixed, so it is easy for me to understand why so many of my readers seem wary of them.

Of the contractor-related mail I receive, about 90 percent report having had a bad experience. The readers who have never used a contractor but want work done typically ask me to recommend someone to them, which is something I won't do, since if there is a problem, I could be held legally liable.

Still, a lot of the public's distrust of contractors is based on a few well-publicized bad experiences. It seems that every other night on the TV news, we are treated to the story of the unfortunate couple, desperate to have an addition built to accommodate the soon-to-be arriving baby, who were taken to the cleaners by an unscrupulous contractor.

Let me present the typical scenario. The contractor seems like a really nice guy. He promises that the job is doable and will start in 10 days, but he needs half the amount of what the job will cost before he can get started, for no other reason than "that's the way I do things, and no one has ever complained."

We aren't talking about a couple of hundred dollars here. We're talking about $45,000 of a $90,000 job. When they catch the guy, he's spent the money, and when he is carted off to prison, the unfortunate couple is out $45K and have no way of recovering it.

It should have never gone this far. Yet we spend more time choosing cars that begin to lose their value once they are driven off the lot, than on renovations that cost five times more and are designed to add value to what is our largest and most important investment.

It doesn't make much sense, does it?

Why do consumers complain so much about contractors? It's human nature. You want something, and to get it, you hand over control of your lives to a perfect stranger for a few days to several months, and pay that person a lot of money to do it.

As the dust fills the house, as the delivery people park on the front lawn, when you search in vain for some place to get away from it all and you can't, you begin to question why you did this to yourself, and, no matter how nice the contractor is, and how wonderful his work is, you start to resent the man and his crew.

And that's when tempers get frayed.

For a better understanding, you'll need to step into the contractor's shoes for a bit.

Most contractors are small fry. This means one guy, perhaps a helper, depending on subcontractors for the work he knows how to do but couldn't do it in a timely or cost-effective manner. A lot of general contractors can install a ceiling fan, for example, but prefer bringing in an electrician to do it.

The contractor is at the mercy of his subcontractors and his suppliers. If the sub's other job is delayed, your job is too, and there is really nothing the contractor can do about it. You are free to suggest that the contractor bring in someone else; however, the contractor spends a lot of time developing working relationships with his subs, and the last thing he wants to do is to ruin things.

Be patient.

The best contractors are craftsmen first, and businessmen second. Sometimes their spouses help them with the paperwork and answer telephones from consumers, but many try to handle everything on their own. While a contractor is working for you, he is out giving estimates and setting up new jobs that he'll tackle once yours is done.

Estimates are, in fact, the biggest sore point with a contractor. He knows that consumers are being told to get as many as possible before making a decision, so he assumes that he won't get the job and doesn't always present a plan that captures the prospective client's attention.

Your job is to be honest up front, telling the contractor how many are in the running and, based on his estimate, how good a shot he has at getting the job. The contractor generally believes that you will go with the low bid, no matter what. You need to convince him that you are willing to pay a reasonable amount above the lowest bid for quality work.

The best renovation jobs I've seen, are the ones in which contractor and client formed a partnership to achieve the best result possible.

You can't hope for much more.