Our industry has shifted to a buyer's market. The mortgage industry's woes have come to roost in the building industry's branches, and builders are rightfully concerned about how they can be as successful as they were in the past.

Here's my answer, based on my 36 years of industry experience: You can be as successful as you were or even successful in today's market if you do just two things: Get involved in the experience and radically change the way you think! That's my vision: During the years of the seller's market, salespeople grew lazy. But they are not lazy by nature. I know for a fact that salespeople can be taught to think and act differently once they understand what is at stake. They can be taught to catch the eye of serious prospects and become the difference that ultimately leads to a sale by following these six rules:

• Rapport precedes the sale

• People act for their reasons and in their own ways

• People buy outcomes

• The sale begins when the customer says "no"

• Lead people to minor decisions

• Bring people back to make the sale

When you follow these rules, success is assured. Why? Because underlying these rules are little-known truths about how customers buy.

The first principle sets the tone for the rest. Rapport is the foundation of any relationship. With it, people deal with tough issues, find solutions and move on. Without it, they go their separate ways. You know how you like to be treated when you make a purchase. When you begin treating prospects that way, you will be more successful. Begin each new prospect experience by watching and listening. Most salespeople do the opposite. They start talking right off and follow only their agenda. It's not always their fault. Traditional selling courses teach that selling is all about what a salesperson does for someone. When a salesperson builds rapport first, selling becomes what he or she does someone. That tiny change of attitude makes a tremendous difference to sales production.

Here are seven sure-fire ways you can build rapport:

1. Take a genuine interest in getting to know what is important to prospects. Start by understanding them rather than asking them to understand you.

2. Listen carefully to the key words and telling phrases they use -- how they speak. Then subtly build those words and phrases into your conversations.

3. Notice their relationship to information. Do they like lots of details, or do they just want the big picture? Respect their preferences by responding accordingly.

4. As you converse with them, from time to time say back to them what you heard them say. You'll build rapport and check your understandings.

5. Discern their deeper intentions -- their underlying purposes -- rather than getting overly involved in what they do or say. They may not always get it right, but assume their heart is in the right place.

6. Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of body language, gestures, voice tone and speaking speed. People like to buy from people just like them.

7. Respect their time -- another way to build rapport by showing respect.

Developing effective habits is one of the keys to sustained peak levels of sales performance. Mastering the art of rapport-building is a matter of turning these seven ways into deeply engrained habits. Here are six rules which if followed by you will speed mastery:

1. Don't commit to integrating a new idea into your daily sales process until everyone understands why it is important to implement.

2. Practice the idea at least 30 times a day for 21 days straight. That is how long a time -- and how much sustained effort -- it takes to develop a new habit.

3. Give full attention to each idea you are practicing. Do not practice just to practice. Have a specific intent.

4. Evaluate only the sales skill you are practicing at that time. Stay focused!

5. Separate practice from performance. Practice in order to integrate new skills for use in performance and then be sure to put practice and performance together again.

6. Make life and learning enjoyable. You are intelligent, and intelligent people do what they enjoy doing.

Nothing happens until you begin. Nothing magical will happen with the rapport building ideas outlined here until you turn them into habits that you can follow every day. I wrote at the outset that by following these techniques you can make the difference even with the tough market conditions we face. But before you can do that, remember, you have to commit to leading and changing the way you sell. Yes, you can make the difference, but first you have to be willing to be the 'difference' that makes the difference.