I take Time Management very seriously. I have conducted over 2,000 presentations as a professional speaker on Time Management over the last twenty years to over 100,000 people. But a good laugh now and then is as important as our serious side.

So, I have accumulated some of the most offbeat Time Management tips for you to get twice as much done. I know you'll get a chuckle or two from them.

• Don't buy an address book and fill it out. Instead, get a copy of the white pages from your local telephone company and cross out the names you don't need.

• Support cloning.

• Watch the television program “60 Minutes” in half an hour.

• Always use twice as much grass seed as the directions call for and grow twice the grass.

• Always order a double martini.

• Use a large scrub brush to brush your teeth.

• Shower for twice as much time on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and you can skip Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

• Catch two colds at a time and take only half the sick days.

• Go to bed dressed, ready to start your next day.

• Keep one eye closed during the day and you'll only have to sleep half as much time.

• Have twins.

• Ski downhill twice as fast as you are used to and get it over with in half the time.

• Buy Double-Mint gum.

• Only go out on a double date.

• Listen to your politicians and learn how to be better at double talk.

• At the beach, roll across the sand and tan your front and back at the same time.

• When angry, slam the door twice so you won't have to do it the next time you get angry.

• Only look at every other word and read twice as fast.

• I know cookies should be baked at 350 degrees, but try cooking them at 700 degrees in half the time.

• Pack twice as much as you need when traveling.

• Play your CD's and DVD's in the Fast Forward mode.

• Eat your dessert while eating your main course.

• When writing, always use both hands at the same time.

• Have a double set of speakers for your sound system and you will listen to twice as much.

• On rainy days, leave the umbrella home and then you can skip your shower the next day.

• If you are a golfer, hit two balls at the same time.

• When you make a big mistake, be sure to have two excuses why you goofed, to get you out of trouble twice as fast.

• At a birthday party, leave off singing the second half of the “Happy Birthday” song.

• Fish with two poles.

• Cut off half the buttons on your shirts and blouses and you will be able to button what's left in half the time.

• Bet on the Daily Double.

• Dig a hole with two shovels.

• Use two bars of soap when you wash and get it done in half the time.

• Always wear a sweater so you don't have to spend time looking for one when you really need one.

• Tip 30% rather than 15% at the restaurant and enjoy twice the service.