Here are some tips for showing your client the respect of letting him keep his Monkey (i.e. solving his own problem or dilemma). It's really all in what you say, or don't say, as the case may be.

Don't be an objection-buster. When a client throws out objections, concerns or stumbling blocks, be sure to think before you speak. Often times these issues will be HIS Monkeys, not yours. Just smile, nod and make an "I hear ya" noise, and let the client continue. If he wants your input, he'll ask for it directly, but until he does, just listen without offering solutions.

If, after your moment of golden silence, you realize that this is, infact, your Monkey, go ahead and offer a response or solution. If you aren't sure, just write it down or commit it to memory to ponder later. You can always accept a Monkey after the fact, but it's much tougher to return a Monkey after you've accepted it prematurely.

Ask "What's Your Plan B?" Do this as if you are not guaranteeing the desired outcome, which you aren't. You can use this strategy with sellers who are being a little stubborn about pricing, accessibility or condition. Just sweetly ask them what they will do if their home doesn't sell for the price they "need" or, at all. This subtly lets them know that while you'll do your best, you won't take full responsibility for their home selling -- that's not a Monkey you'll accept.

Check for Motivation. If a buyer or seller looks to you to solve a problem that isn't reasonably yours to solve (e.g. you give up some of your commission to put or hold a deal together), you can gently say something like "I've found that when a real estate agent wants to make a deal more than the other parties involved, it's not the right deal to make."

So, what is the punch line?

If you know what Monkeys are yours to carry, and which are not, and you respect the other party enough to let him keep his own Monkeys, you'll be a much happier, healthier and rested real estate agent!