There is one phrase that is overused in the American lexicon right now that really irritates me, and that expression is "I don't have time." This catch-all excuse has infected our personal lives and business practices. We are shortchanging our families emotionally, giving poor service to our customers and associates, and worst, endangering our own safety -- all in the name of saving or making time.

Realtors especially are vulnerable to the problem of not having enough time. It seems the world is scurrying in some kind of competition to illustrate how busy and important we all are. We are turning into a nation of people who don't return phone calls, who can't be bothered with details, and who pass responsibility onto others -- which really wastes time. Not only do we run red lights to "save time," we use other forms of time-saving short cuts that are just as reckless. We omit the common courtesies that make the ordinary day so much more pleasant. We spend less time with our families to make more time for business, and we have less patience for those who don't operate at the same frantic speed we do. We are not able to adjust to the idiosyncrasies of dealing with humans as individuals. Instead we assume that everyone values exactly what we do and in exactly the same way. And that they can move at the same pace.

The truth is you can make time for anything that you think is important. It is your life and you can choose what you devote your time in doing. So to say you don't have time to return a phone call, to bring the snacks to your son's school party, or to pay a visit to Grandma is really just another way of saying that you value something else more. But what would that be?

If you are simply overwhelmed, maybe it is time to stop and think about reestablishing your priorities. You may just simply have allowed your schedule to get out of hand, and you have to stop, prioritize how, on whom, and on what you want to spend your time, and manage your schedule to accomplish your objective.

We could all use a spring cleaning for the calendar. Won't you enjoy looking at a lot less clutter? It will surprise you how much your calendar may be crowded with things that really don't make a difference in your day, week, or entire life. And just like spring cleaning, you have to make the time to do it, but once it's done, you won't feel you've wasted a moment.

We've all heard about those time-saving techniques, and some of us even implement them. For example, never handle a piece of paper more than once. Place your work load into stacks A, B, and C, then throw everything in C in the trash. Learn to say no. But those techniques won't do much good if we allow time clichés to slip into our vocabulary and contaminate our good intentions.

Next time you are tempted to use one of the following clichés about time, think about the possible subliminal message you may be conveying and what the effect might be on others.

1.I don't have time. Everyone gets the same 24-7 time span that you do. If you compare yourself to others and find they get more done, make more money, have happy/well-cared for/content families, a social life, hobbies, and have every hair in place all at the same time, it isn't because they "have more time." These people have just learned how to use it more wisely.

That may be self-evident to most of you, but I assure you, many people (the same ones who believe their clothes shrink in the closet) think that they are laboring under a true disadvantage, that somehow time is mysteriously sucked away from them by some unseen force and given in unfair abundance to others. As an excuse, this one is totally unoriginal. Since we are all in the same boat, it is not likely to engender any sympathy.

Once, I was calling parents in my son's home room class to get them to bring snacks and games to the Christmas party. One woman told me she didn't have time to bake or bring anything -- she worked. I sweetly told her I did, too. In fact, most of the mothers did. "Why don't you call the men?" she challenged. I told her that I would be happy to have anyone contribute to the party. She rejoined, "I have a husband and two kids." Now here I was volunteering to do the calling, bringing snacks myself, and putting up with this clueless woman. Who does she think is responsible for parties, music teachers, and extra portables only other parents? So I pulled out my ace. "I'm a single parent, and if I can make time, so can you." She hung up on me.

2. Time is money. I have several topics on this cliché.

First, money is not the only way to measure gains in life. You won't make any money at your daughter's recital, but don't you think you will fill her bank account with love when you show up? When you take the time to listen to Uncle Al's battle stories of the South Pacific one more time, you are filling the family back account. (You get dividends when you don't look bored.)

As far as business goes, it has been drummed into us by the media already that time is a precious commodity. Everyone has to acclimate to the "speed of business." And if you aren't up to speed, there are whole industries devoted to helping you save time or show you how to make time pay. But attempting to operate below the industry par is no longer an option.

For example, how many times have you heard agents complain that they don't have time to learn the computer? Now, do you really mean you don't have time, or is there something else standing in the way? Sometimes I-don't-have-time is code for "I'm afraid to learn or I'm too old to change." Maybe if I ignore it, the computer revolution will just go away.

If you are going to compete, take the time to learn what you need to know. No one else can carry you or cover for you -- they don't have the time.

3. I have a "window" of time. Business takes itself way too seriously. Aren't we just one person talking to another, or is this about something else -- a subtle attempt to put the other person in a one-down position? It's arrogant to assume that because you are offering a "window" of time, that the other person isn't doing exactly the same. The insinuation that my time is more valuable than yours, or my time is only used for things that are important to me is not a message that is conducive to good public relations. If you have to control your calendar that closely, then find another way to say it that doesn't put the other person in a less-than position.

4. I'm too busy. Let me have you talk to my assistant, or I'll have my assistant call you. When a secretary or assistant returns your call instead of the person you called, it can be demeaning and waste time. Top-producing Realtor Nora Lane says, " When I call another agent, I want the agent, not their assistant. One of the reasons I don't have an assistant is that I want buyers and sellers to know they are always dealing with me. When I am trying to negotiate a deal, I don't want to explain what I want to an assistant. I want to talk directly to the agent so we can get it done."

5. If I can find the time. The implication here is that this person has lost control of his/her schedule. The "daytimer" is now running things. If I were a client, that wouldn't do much to build my confidence that this person is spending enough time on my needs. I would wonder what vacuum sucked away his/her time.

6. I didn't have time to check my messages/return your call.So my call's not important? Gee, thanks for telling me. This is a true story. I had a phone call one day from a friend who had decided to buy a second home and was interested in condominiums. She wanted me to find her a good agent. I called an agent that I knew and left a message on his voice mail that I had a lead for him and passed the customer's name and number along. He called my friend all right, but not until a week later. In the meanwhile, she and her husband had come to town over the weekend, looked at homes they found in the newspaper, and signed a contract with the listing agent on a pricey townhouse. The first agent called me and apologized, telling me that he -- you guessed it- - didn't have time to return my call. "I guess I blew it," he said.

I guess he did.

Published: April 10, 1998

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