Whether you realize it or not, new information is coming to you daily that subliminally or consciously impacts your perceptions and performance as a REALTORŽ. It is your choice to accept it, analyze it, and decide whether this data is important enough to make a change in how you do things, or change you as a person and the way others perceive you.

You may hear about a new listing presentation technique or faster way to e-mail your farm, but it may be weeks or months before you decide to try it. But knowing those new applications are out there, being used by other agents, is already effecting you and your business whether you wish it would or not.

Every day, we are presented with opportunities to grow, stretch, and mature. The goal is to understand when and how we can grow from the simple things that fill our lives and truly open ourselves up to change. Here are some ways you can make the most of each day and enhance your career as a REALTORŽ.

1. Recognize That Growth Continues, Despite Our Best Effort to Thwart It.

Growth is like fermentation; it often occurs well below the surface. If only we can learn to break through those layers, we can learn to better harness that continual growth.

2. Engage in the Process; Give up Attachment to the Result.

We live in a results-oriented world. The good news is that we can get more done faster. In the long term, however, being results-oriented conceals the fact that ultimately, all is process. When we learn to engage in the process and relinquish our obsession with results, the results occur spontaneously, easily. To be involved fully in the process is to be fully in the present.

A good example of this is farming. You may be discouraged by the fact that you have called 50 people today with no results. But one day next week, the phone may ring and one of your contacts has a lead for you. All fifty calls will not lead to a concrete sale, but you have kept in touch with your farm, let your contacts know you are thinking of them, and that you will continue to keep them informed of new listings, news, or other information. That in itself is progress.

3. Work on One Thing at a Time.

High achievers and Type A individuals pride themselves on their ability to keep several balls in the air at one time, however, they may be paying a price. Multi-tasking splits your focus and reduces the energy you can devote to any single task. To work on just one thing at a time is like enjoying the beauty of a single rose, savoring the clean clear taste of cold spring water or feeling the exhilaration of a new day. Single tasking gets the body and the mind in synch. It inspires and invigorates.

Learn to get a sense of accomplishment from doing one thing well, and then move on to the next task at hand.

4. Stop Thinking, Writing and Speaking in the First Person.

Review your correspondence file and note how often you begin a sentence with "I." Then, pay attention to your conversations with others. If you keep a journal, take a yellow marker and highlight every "I." This exercise gives you a measurement of your preoccupation with yourself. Try taking a vacation from the word, "I". You may find it both refreshing and stimulating.

We live in an egocentric world, but customers and clients are equally me-centered, if not more so, since they are paying for your services through the real estate transaction. You will have a much easier time communicating with others by reducing the spotlight on yourself.

5. Realize it Takes Great Effort to Achieve a State of Effortless Achievement.

It may sound like double talk, but it's true. In order to achieve anything effortlessly, you must get beyond those concepts that serve as comfort zones- self-importance, personal attachment, and even enlightenment.

Comfort zones have a security feature - they protect you from your fears. Once you move past those security gates, you can escape bonds which may personally hold you back. If you are afraid to speak in public, the only way to liberate yourself from your fear is to acquire the skills, knowledge and practice of public speaking.

Many times, top producers hide behind the fact that they have achieved a great deal of success, but they make the mistake of riding on this momentum. You only coast downhill.

6. Look for the Lesson from Pain.

This is not a plea for a life of self-sacrifice or an argument that pain is necessary and good. It's just that sometimes, pain can be beneficial. Stopping to take the time to examine what's really going on in the present state of pain prevents anger, resentment and resignation. Looking at pain dispassionately, openly, allows you to learn the lesson, grow from it and move ahead.

7. Let Go of Your Need to Have an Opinion.

When things go wrong, friends offend, clients become unreasonable, and your progress seems to be grinding to a halt, it's natural to have an opinion, to explain, justify and defend. But, try to stop that impulse. When you give up the need to have an opinion in such instances, you free your mind to receive answers.

Justification only polarizes your opponent. There are few situations in which you will wear down the other party with explanations or by defending yourself. It simply doesn't work. Just move past it to solution-finding.

8. Walk Away from It.

Years ago, I was going through a rough time but determined that sticking it out was the right thing to do. A friend, who sensed my frustration, asked me what was going on. I told him about the struggles and the seeming lack of progress. He listened patiently and after I finished, he said something I will never forget, "You know, sometimes wisdom is knowing when to walk away from it." So, when is it time to walk away? When the course you are "stubbornly" pursuing is not producing results, and you have no real feeling that it will, walk away.

Is that buyer who has looked at over fifty homes really ready to buy? Is the seller who is commission focused really going to appreciate your marketing and negotiating skills? You are the only who can accurately gauge the situation. You can't close them all.

9. Follow Your Path, Rather than Your Plan.

Plans are clear, well defined, and designed to eliminate uncertainty. Paths are often winding, indistinct and surprising in where they lead. To follow a path is to be open to discovery and to the sudden twists and turns that yield joy, insight and challenge. However, to follow a path requires courage and a willingness to go forward when you can see only a single step ahead, armed with the confidence that the next step will appear.

10. Hear What Is Being Said.

Have you ever had a friend offer you some unwelcome advice, prefaced with, "You're not going to want to hear this, but..." Well, often when new information comes to us that conflicts with what we know, believe, think, or want, we DON'T hear it. Even while we're listening, we're preparing our replies, defenses and rebuttals. In short, we're blocking our chance to learn.

On the other hand, to hear what is being said is to withhold judgment, to go beyond the actual words, and to really be open to the possible lesson, lurking just beneath the surface. The difference between listening and hearing is that, somewhere in between, there's a filter blocking out new and sometimes conflicting information.

Resist the urge to put up defenses when you are told something you don't like. Instead, explore the other person's feelings and you will be more open to growth and change.

Published: November 11, 1998

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