Anyone who has ever lived in an apartment can relate to the scenario: You're lying in bed late on a Sunday night, attempting to catch a few good Zs before the Monday morning rat race begins. Just as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, and you begin to drift into that wonderful state of almost-sleep, the thud of bass jars you into a state of wide-awakeness. Sitting up in bed, eyes half-mast in a state of nervous disorientation, you ask yourself what that racket is, and then it hits you ... it's that neighbor who moved into the downstairs apartment two weeks ago. She's at the beginning of what will be an almost-nightly ritual of blaring music and thudding bass. You try your best to block it out, but you feel your floor vibrating as the beat runs through your head. The longer you listen, the more resentful you become. Three hours later, you're still awake, stewing and plotting your revenge.

And before anyone gets excited, let me stress that revenge is never an option. Going that route is likely to provoke your neighbor into blaring his or her music that much louder (or resorting to nastier tactics). True, it's extremely difficult to resist the urge to stomp downstairs and yell (something unprintable in this story) at your noisy neighbor. But if you're smart and play your cards right (in other words, deliberately and wisely), you'll have a much better chance of emerging from this situation as a victor.

Noisy neighbors are a nationwide epidemic. They're everywhere. In fact, a multitude of Web sites are devoted to this subject. Many renters and even homeowners use the Web to vent their frustration revenge fantasies, and to offer sound advice (no pun intended) to fellow renters and homeowners experiencing similar afflictions. In short, if you're dealing with a noisy neighbor, a good portion of America feels your pain. And there are measures you can take to bring some peace back into your home.

For homeowners, the first step is to talk to your neighbor if you can maintain your composure. While it might seem beyond your comprehension, some people are actually clueless as to the kind of noise they're creating -- probably because you're so quiet, and they've never heard a peep from upstairs. Some buildings have thicker walls than others, so there's a good possibility that once you explain your situation to your neighbor, he or she will comply with your wishes.

If the problem continues, obtain a copy of the noise laws in your community. Your local city hall or public library can help you locate this information. Most cities have specific criteria outlining particular hours during which noise may not exceed a certain amount of decibels. Violators of these regulations may face a warning for the first violation and stiff fines for any subsequent violations.

Once you've gotten a copy of your local ordinance in hand and have determined that your neighbor has violated it, write him or her a last-chance letter (and keep a copy for your own records) to rectify the problem. Remain polite, but state matter-of-factly that if he or she fails to turn down the noise, you'll have to notify the police. Enclose a copy of your local noise law as "back-up."

Any neighbor (and I use that term loosely) who continues to make a racket after the above-listed suggestions is pushing his or her luck. But if that's the case, open your Yellow Pages and find yourself a good mediator. Mediators specialize in listening to both sides of a dispute and objectively attempting to reach a resolution for the parties. Don't tell your annoying neighbor about your plans first; call a mediation service and let them make the phone call to your neighbor. The official nature of that call brings officiality to the meeting (besides, you might lose your cool if you make the call) and makes it much less likely that the neighbor will try to "weasel" out of it.

Your two last resorts: calling the police (with any luck, they'll arrive as the nuisance is in progress) and suing your noisy neighbor in small claims court. Calling the police is most effective when you've reached the point where the noise has continued for a long period of time, and you've tried unsuccessfully to resolve the problem yourself.

If you head to court, you'll have to prove that you've had to endure excessive and prolonged noise, that you've asked the neighbor to stop and he or she refused, and that you've suffered as a result (in terms of lost sleep and the ability to enjoy your home environment). If you've called the police in the past, bring any documentation as evidence. If other neighbors have complained about the same resident, ask them if they'll serve as witnesses.

If you're an apartment-dweller, you could find recourse in your lease. Locate your copy, and find out if the lease contains verbiage about noise. A neighbor in violation of that clause could be evicted. When you reach the point of writing your noisy neighbor a letter, include a copy of the lease with the noise clause circled. Warn your neighbor politely but directly that if the problem continues, you'll notify the landlord. If it comes to that, talk with other neighbors who share walls with the nuisance or who live within earshot. Does the noise bother them, as well? If so, there's power in numbers. Arrange a meeting with your landlord. A complaint from multiple tenants carries a lot of weight. Any landlord would be concerned about losing tenants and revenue due to the inconsiderate behavior of one. Your landlord is much more likely to confront the noisy neighbor -- or even evict him or her -- if a group of neighbors complained about excessive noise.

So keep your cool, and plan your strategy. Remember: If you maintain your composure, you'll come across as the reasonable party in this dispute ... and increase your chances of regaining a little peace and quiet (and perhaps even a few Zs).

Published: May 5, 1999

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