Remember when our kids were young and said, "Mommy, I have nothing to do. I'm bored." Most of us practically lost it when we heard those words. We flew into a long speech about all of the wonders waiting to be discovered in the world, all the books waiting to be read, all of the kind deeds waiting to be performed. It's not about having nothing to do. It's about not having something worth while to do.

There is an old adage that says that if you want something done quickly, give it to the busiest person you know. While it seems like a bit of a contradiction, it's nonetheless true. Busy people are organized in ways that those of us with too much time on our hands are not. They just know that failure is not an option and instead of touching the same thing six times or more before it gets taken care of, they do it the first time around. Or, better still, don't do it at all because they work on what needs to be done first and know how to distinguish important things from the rest.

I have coached many real estate agents and, over the years, have come to some conclusions. Busy people are often busy because they like what they do and do it a lot! Sure, nothing is all cake and roses. However, by and large, people who stay busy and involved are more fulfilled.

On the other hand, folks who really are not enjoying their chosen careers are easily frustrated and distracted. They don't effectively work what works first and that creates the feeling of floundering. When one feels like they have nothing to do, what they want to do is something that gets them excited, something that they can sink their teeth into, so to speak. And, therein lies the real problem. Too many of us are going around day in and day out feeling unfulfilled and out-of-sync with what we want to be doing and what we are doing.

We may not even be aware that that is the problem. There are a host of common symptoms that we would be well served to consider. Are you regularly experiencing any of these feelings?:

• You get up in the morning and feel unmotivated to face the new workday
• Work is just that, work. There is not a sense of having made a difference at the end of the day
• You wonder if anyone would really notice if you showed up that day or not
• It's a job rather than a vocation
• You have a hard time figuring out where you are going from here

I am going on the assumption that if you are feeling some or all of the above, you are not in need of medical intervention for more serious problems than what I'll call "work blahs." If you have any doubts about that, please see your doctor. Otherwise, let's look at what you can do to turn the "work blahs" into greater fulfillment.

Rule #1: Accept responsibility for the way you are feeling.

It simply is not true that the grass is greener over at that other company. If their grass is greener, it's probably because there's more manure. How many times have we heard ourselves lamenting,"If only so and so would leave, this place would be great." How about, "If the broker, boss, manager, etc. would just change their attitude we'd all be happier." Oh, if it were only true that what they do has the power to make us happy or to motivate us. But it isn't. So, turn to the person nearest to you at this minute and shout, "It isn't, so I'm gonna get over it." (I just love scaring the pants off of innocent bystanders)

While we can't change the other people, we can change our attitude about them. If you want them to change you change, the way you treat them. It works much of the time. If it doesn't work, then instead of being miserable and waiting around for them to leave, you leave. Take control and act. Something works, nothing doesn't.

Rule #2: Do What Works First

Half the battle of feeling productive is just doing what will get you to reach your goals first. Every time you pick up a project ask yourself this question, "Is what I am about to do the most productive use of my time at this minute?" If the answer is no, don't do it. Do what will makes you feel productive. Production makes you feel great. It breeds more of the same. Doing useless or unnecessary work frustrates us and squelches motivation. If you are doing a lot of $5 an hour work, perhaps it's time for an assistant. If you don't have one, you are one!

Rule #3: Have Your Goals Clearly In Focus

Someone a lot wiser than I said that if you don't know where you are going, any old road will get you there. Goals provide you with direction, a sense of purpose and show the way when it's temporarily lost. If you don't have goals, you are missing out on the chance to see yourself succeed. If you have goals that are not motivating you, then they are not representative of what is really important to you. According to my mentor, Floyd Wickman, goals are either anchors or booster rockets. It's up to you to decide which they are for you.

Rule #4: Be In The minute

If every minute of the day you are thinking of what you have to do next, what happened yesterday or what's on the agenda for tomorrow, you are missing the moment at hand. Today is a gift and that's why they call it the present. If you think it's sappy to stop and smell the roses, it's because you've never done it. Enjoying the moment and finding something worthwhile in every hour of every day will change "stinking thinking" faster that any Prozak prescription could ever do. Next time you're feeling bored and disjointed think of a few of the blessings you have that so many others will never have and put the crappy stuff into perspective. One of the things that I have learned over the years is that my mother was right. She said, "This too will pass." Your attitude going into something largely determines the outcome. What's your attitude today?

Rule #5: Give To You

Ashley Montague, a child psychologist, once said that what we all need is a womb with a view. Unfortunately we give more to others than we give to number one. There is the sense that if we spend time nurturing our souls, we are being selfish. Nothing could be further from the truth. If we do not replenish and nurture us, where does the stuff we give to others come from? It won't be there. Find your passion and make a commitment that you will nurture it at least three times a week. If you want to paint, then paint. Michelangelo said that if a little voice inside of you says that you are not a painter, then paint and that voice will surely be silenced. If quiet reading time is what you crave, then read. Just do what you love and you will be better at everything else that you do. You don't need hours. Fifteen minutes a day is enough to reenergize you. The point is either make the time for yourself or accept the fact that you are the cause of much of your stress. Stress - stop taking real estate so seriously.

Simple advice, that's true. Nothing earth shattering here. But it's the common sense things that we seem to overlook most easily. Techno this and high tech that. The pressure to keep up has many of us feeling as though we're obsolete. Maybe some of us have to jump on the bandwagon and embrace the computer or whatever it is we're resisting. However, that does not change the fact that we have to take care of ourselves. Americans are more stressed than ever. Perhaps that's because we are trying too hard to be all things to all people and forgetting the most important thing of all. We get by giving, and we have to give to us before we are available to give to others. Do what you like to do. When what you are doing stops being fun, don't do it. And, know the difference.

Published: November 9, 1999

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Editor's Note: This article reflects the opinions of Marylyn B. Schwartz, CSP only and not necessarily the views of this or any other publication, organization or Website owner.

Marylyn B. Schwartz, CSP, is a noted expert in real estate and corporate sales training, team development, customer care and diversity issues. She is president of TEAMWEAVERS and was a trainer for the Floyd Wickman Courses©, Sweathogs® program for over five years. Marylyn is also an author and Business/Life Coach. Contact her at , or visit her website at MarylynBSchwartz.com.