How many times have you heard a fellow RealtorŪ point to another party as the cause of a deal falling through? How many times have you done the same thing? It doesn't work. Stop it! Usually, if you trace things back far enough, the fault lies with ourselves.

A RealtorŪ told me that she lost a sale because she was a half-hour late to the presentation of an offer to a seller and the seller got fed up with her and took an alternative offer from another agent. She blamed the seller and the RealtorŪ presenting the other offer. But later I found out she was late because she didn't want to cut short a lunch date with her boyfriend. She felt that the seller would understand. Irresponsible!

Another RealtorŪ had a flat tire on the way to pick up an out-of-town buyer flying in to the airport. The RealtorŪ arrived at baggage claim an hour and a half late. The buyer was long gone and, having hired a taxi, drove to the home under consideration and bought it through the listing agent. The original RealtorŪ griped about how that listing agent "stole" her side of the sale. But later I learned that RealtorŪ #1 was driving on bald tires with no spare. No wonder it took her so long to get back on the road. When you trace it back far enough, you usually find where the irresponsibility REALLY lies.

Yet, RealtorsŪ often gripe and point the finger elsewhere. As though the actions of others have no impact on the rest of us. Recently a RealtorŪ friend who had a listing got a call from the seller who was already in the company of a buyer's agent. The seller, who was nearly through hearing the pitch, didn't know that the buyer's agent should have called the seller's own agent. But of course the buyer's agent knew that, right? That was irresponsibility #1 on the part of that buyer's agent.

Then the buyer's agent, when told by the listing agent during that same call that she needed to cease talking to the seller and instead deal with her, said, "You better back off or I'll take my buyer elsewhere."

At that, the seller burst into tears because she thought the deal was dying. The same buyer’s agent pulled that same kind of intimidation when it came to select a title and escrow company. "You’ll pick the one my buyer says or he’ll go elsewhere." (The ones selected were those of the buyer’s agent’s mother - a fact that the buyer’s agent "forgot" to disclose.) Irresponsibilities #2 and #3. Very disrespectful. Shameful. An insult to others in the deal; in the industry.

Get this: In addition, the buyer's agent changed, by erasing and re-writing, the commission split on the offer after the seller had already signed the document. Outright forgery. Irresponsibility #4. The seller, ever-unfamiliar with realty procedures, never knew the difference. (Fortunately, she'd kept a copy of the original agreement so that the two versions could be later compared.)

After patiently waiting until the sale had gone through to best favor her seller, my RealtorŪ friend did not do as many RealtorsŪ do and just say, "Well, that agent sure is a rat, but I’ve got my commission now so I just won’t make waves." No, my friend sent in a detailed complaint on the agent to the RealtorŪ’s board and they eventually nailed her on seven counts of ethics violations, required her to take CE courses in ethics and fined her $750.

During the hearing the buyer's agent cried and told the committee, "Gosh, this has never happened to me before in 25 years of real estate sales." And her finger kept pointing everywhere but at herself. Irresponsibility #5. It was all THEIR fault.

I say this: Of course it never happened to her before, but not because she hadn't done it before. It never happened to her before because I found out later that many agents had just turned their backs on similar shenanigans of hers and let her get away with such violations---even forgery---for 25 years. Now, she blames everyone involved in the board sanctions. Irresponsibility # 6. But forged papers, when compared to unaltered ones, don't lie. And clearly she went direct to the seller; not the seller's agent. And she did everything else that she said she didn't.

My RealtorŪ friend also submitted the same complaint to the DRE. So the buyer's agent who got away with murder for 25 years hasn't even begun to feel the results of her actions by the time the DRE is done investigating her. Does she deserve it? How can you even ask the question? We don't need those kinds of RealtorsŪ in the industry. And thank God that my RealtorŪ friend bucked the tide and spent 20 hours or so, along with the seller, preparing the proof showing exactly what that agent did. Friends of my RealtorŪ friend asked her, "Why do you bother?" She replied, "Because it's not about the money; it's about the principle of the thing." Now THAT's being RESPONSIBLE!

Principle! Responsibility. Being willing to point the finger at ourselves when we, at heart, if you trace it back far enough, are at fault. Why is it so hard for us - and especially for professionals - to admit that we don't know, or that we were wrong? Or that we should have left earlier to be on time? Or gotten tires with treads on them and ALWAYS carried a spare one. What is wrong with taking responsibility and blaming ourselves, for a change, for the circumstances that, after all, occur in OUR OWN lives?

And why is it so hard to identify and take the time and trouble to turn in those RealtorsŪ who just "ought not be allowed to practice real estate the way they've been doing it?"

Let's get tough with ourselves in 2000. And tough with others instead of letting them slide by and cheapen the profession. Let's be more responsible. Let's have the guts to turn in the "bad" RealtorsŪ. We're all in this industry together and so we should ALWAYS act like it. When we do, we can reflect what these words do:

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS
(In old English)

No man is an Iland,
intire of it selfe,
everyman is a peece of the Continent,
a part of the maine;
if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea,
Europe is the lesse,
as well as if a Promontorie were,
as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were;
any mans death diminishes me,
because I am involved in Mankinde;
And therefore never send to
know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee...

John Donne (1571-1631)

Published: December 17, 1999

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Editor's Note: This article reflects the opinions of Bill Koelzer only and not necessarily the views of this or any other publication, organization or Website owner.

Bill Koelzer is a Web marketing consultant to web-proficient agents nationwide. He is co-author, with Barbara Cox, Ph.D., of the Prentice-Hall books, Internet Marketing in Real Estate and Internet Marketing. Bill is also webmaster of Orange County Real Estate, among the most-awarded known Realtor® sites. Visit his website, Koelzer.com or e-mail him at .