If the thought of cleaning your kids' bedrooms makes you want to run screaming from the house, you're not alone. If they're old enough to assume a least partial responsibility for cleaning up after themselves, consider yourself lucky and stay on the course by praising them for a job well done (even if it doesn't necessarily meet your standards -- and it won't). But parents whose children are a bit too young to be of much help realize that they'll have to venture into the kids' bedrooms sooner or later to do some serious cleaning -- especially if you're expecting guests, or you're putting your house on the market and your REALTOR® will be showing your home.

Perhaps you're a parent of children old enough to know how to make a bed, push a vacuum, fold clothes or even do laundry; but who has never really placed a premium on keeping things tidy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Now, you've placed your house on the market, the Realtor wants to begin showing your home to prospective buyers, and you haven't dared to enter the kids' rooms in six months. It's time for a crash course in cleanliness, and this is a class both you and child will be taking. If you've been somewhat neglectful of your home, letting dirty clothes fall where they may, leaving dishes in the kitchen sink and the beds unmade, now is the time to change your ways. After all, you can't lecture your kids about the virtues of a clean house when you're Martha Stewart's worst enemy.

With your kids at your side -- regardless of their age or history of responsibility -- let them know that they'll have to sort through their belongings (toys, stuffed animals, etc.) and store half of them in their closets, the other half in their bedrooms. This isn't to say that they can't have access to their stored possessions; they simply need to keep them out of the way for the sake of a clean room. Assure them that every couple of months, they can rotate their belongings, placing what is now in their rooms into their closet, and vice versa. This process can also help your kids assess what they use most often and what they might consider giving to charity at a later date. If your young children become upset at the request to place their toys out of view, assure them that they'll have access to them whenever they'd like; they just need to place them back in their proper place when they're finished using them.

To ease your children's trepidation about your request, purchase clear plastic storage bins with easy-to-remove lids, and label the containers according to the children's toys (stuffed animals, books, games, etc.). Line the containers up in the closet, giving your child easy access to all of them. Encourage your child to personalize the containers in any way they wish, using tape and construction paper, ribbons, crayons and markers, etc. You'll be giving your child control not only over which toys go where, but also the way in which they choose to identify them.

If you haven't purchased shelves for your child already, now is a good time to do it. They make the prospect of cleaning considerably easier for your children (and you), and allow your kids to have their favorite toys at their disposal. And if you're getting ready to show your house, shelves are a godsend for quick and easy cleanups. The idea is to make clean-ups easy for your child. Use a little psychology here. Remember when you were young and your parents demanded that you clean your room? Looking onto the mess, you felt overwhelmed and wondered if you'd ever emerge from your room again. That scenario inevitably created a power struggle. You can make keeping a clean room much easier for your child by purchasing hooks for the backs of their bedroom and closet doors; and by keeping a shoe rack in their closets (or for over the closet door). They can come home after school, place their shoes on the rack and hang their coats over the hooks. It's quick, easy and keeps everyone happy. Place hampers or laundry bags in the kids' bedrooms or bathrooms, and require your children to bring their clothes to the laundry room once or twice a week. Teach them how to change their bed sheets weekly, and assign your kids one bath towel each week to keep laundry loads within reasonable amounts.

Inevitably, some items won't find their way back to their proper place. Establish with your children a day or evening each week during which they'll straighten up their rooms and move everything back to its "spot." You may want to choose Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening, for example, in order to start your weeks off on the right note. Praise your kids for observing this schedule. For example, agree that if they clean up on Sunday afternoons, you'll have a special dinner or dessert, a movie night, an outing, etc. And while they're holding up their end of the bargain by straightening their rooms, let them listen to their favorite music. Sure, it might make you cringe, but their favorite tunes help keep the mood fun. This is all about compromise, so put on your ear plugs, and be thankful for your responsible kids.

You're going to want to expand your children's household responsibilities beyond their bedrooms, of course. The best approach is to introduce them to such chores gradually. Make a chart that outlines each child's responsibilities, and establish a reasonable deadline for their completion. Remember that giving your children a window of time during which to complete their chores will encourage them and help to avoid power struggles. You can start expanding young children's responsibilities in the kitchen. Have them assist you with baking, helping to stir items, pour ingredients, etc. Once they've experienced the pride of a finished batch of cookies or a cake (you might consider selecting a neighbor to give them to), expand their repertoire, and have them help you cook a special dish. Make it easy, and don't criticize spills or occasional mistakes. Keep the conversation fun and help them realize the value of time spent with Mom or Dad.

Introducing fun into the equation whenever possible helps you to get the results you want from your child. Above all, remember that the job doesn't have to be perfect; it just needs to be done reasonably. Treat your children as adults, giving them the flexibility to decide when and where to store items. Establishing rigid rules is the recipe for disaster. Offering small incentives (not money) if and only if they get the job done -- and not giving them when the job doesn't meet your satisfaction -- will help your family keep a clean house without starting World War III.

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Published: February 3, 2000

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