In life, three things are certain: Death, taxes, and stress from remodeling projects.

It's true -- remodeling your house -- even if you use contractors, which most of us do -- is invariably a burdensome task. Novices believe they'll sit back and enjoy the fruits of others' labors. Sure, the furniture might be covered in plastic for a few months, but the results will be worth it. Those of us who have been around this block before, however, are wise to two facts: Remodeling projects always take longer than we expected, and we always spend more than we thought we would, usually because we take the relaxed philosophy that "Well, as long as they're here, they might as well do that, too." Or perhaps your contractor offers to spruce up an additional part of your home or add an element that -- while it wasn't in your original budget -- would look mighty nice.

And remodeling is a strain on families -- no doubt about it. It's the middle of summer, and your kids are running around a plastic-covered room with no place to sit. There's an inch-thick layer of dust sitting on top of everything in your house. You'd like to serve dinner, but suddenly you can't remember if your silverware is in the bedroom or the garage. The refrigerator has been moved to the bathroom, only you can't open it now because your son is in the bathroom and has locked the door behind him. Briefly. He emerges from the bathroom to complain that the toilet's been moved to the front yard.

Pets are particularly sensitive to the hustle and bustle that remodeling involves. Even the most obedient dog may suddenly find that he prefers your Oriental rug to the front yard, for instance. The hammering and drilling led by a slew of unfamiliar faces is traumatizing for your pets.

Face it. If you decide to remodel, you're in for an endurance test. It's precisely the reason why Massachusetts Realtor Fred George, in his book, "How to be a Smart First-Time Home Buyer," advises first-timers not to build. They endure the same kind of conditions, only worse. "If you're married, you'll be divorced by the time the house is finished," he warns.

How do you cope with conditions like these? And how do you determine when it's time to throw your hands up in the air and head to the nearest hotel? Here are a few strategies for setting up temporary accommodations for yourself in the middle of remodeling projects:

If you're remodeling your kitchen and need an alternative kitchen in the meantime, finding a source of running water (read: your bathroom) is obviously your first priority. You may have to make runs to wherever your refrigerator has taken up temporary residence. Keep your microwave, if it's a free-standing unit, nearby if you can -- on a chair, for example. An electric skillet is helpful if you're not going to have access to your stove for an extended period. A toaster and/or toaster oven are indispensables, as well.

Also keep handy the pots you use most often, although you'll want to keep those to a minimum if you can. If your dishwasher has been temporarily removed, buy paper plates, cups, and silverware. Although it's not glamorous, you're not likely to be entertaining guests, given the condition of your kitchen. So make your life a little easier, and eliminate unnecessary dish-washing.

If you're remodeling your bathroom -- and you're temporarily locked out -- you'll have to plan a family meeting to schedule showers. If you're blessed with extremely generous neighbors, you may ask to take an occasional shower there. (Note: This only applies for neighbors on very, very good terms.) If you belong to a health club with shower facilities, grab a guest pass or two for family members. They'll get in shape and get a shower.

If your water's been turned off, temporarily: You're one tolerant individual if you decide to stick it out at home. You may rely on the shower-taking strategies outlined above, and you'll also want to warm up to the idea of bottled water if you haven't already. Find out if there's a nearby facility where you may draw water. If you're using any of these strategies, you deserve to be inducted into sainthood. But of course, those of us who already are draining our budgets with remodeling projects may not be able to afford the additional expense of a hotel room.

And speaking of expenses, the National Association of the Remodeling Industry (NARI) recommends that home owners plan to spend an additional 10 percent to 20 more than they originally budgeted. So when you've determined how much you can afford to spend on a remodeling project, decrease that amount by 10 percent to 20 percent. That cushion should be placed in a reserve account to cover any change orders or incidental charges accrued during the project. Planning ahead prevents your having to search for additional funds upon conclusion of the project. (And remember that when your dream kitchen, bathroom, etc., is done, you'll probably be inspired to purchase new furniture, curtains, or appliances.) NARI names two primary reasons for busted budgets: changes and "whileyas" -- an abbreviated version of home ownerspeak, which means "While you're here, could you just (fill in blank with project of your choice)?." In order to steer clear of both costly scenarios, memorize these tips provided by NARI:

Determine how changes will be handled before the project starts and include the procedure in the contract. This will help keep change orders to a minimum.

Published: June 16, 2000

Use of this article without permission is a violation of federal copyright laws.