Last week I got an e-mail from a very unhappy agent. Lamenting the problems that she’s been experiencing with sellers, she wanted me to tell her how to get sellers to be more reasonable and receptive to what their agent suggests to them. She felt beat up and totally unappreciated.

At the risk of being glib, I wanted to write back to her and ask when she thought I had gone from real estate professional to magician? The problem is not the unreasonable sellers; it’s the agents who hold that perception! Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior unless you first give them permission.” Wise words.

Having been a real estate agent, I understand what if feels like to think that you are being lead and are not an equal in the partnership. However, the day that I took back control was the day that my career took a turn for the better.

This is a critical point. We always have choices. When you decide to enter into a listing agreement with a seller, it’s of your own free will that you do so. You can give me a million reasons why you think that is not so, but you’d be wrong on every count. By the very nature of the word agreement: accord, being of the same opinion, you are acknowledging that there is a meeting of the minds on both sides. Whenever one party in an “agreement” feels that they are being pulled along and things are not comfortable for them, there is no agreement. There is only a surrendering of one’s integrity to the will of another.

Having said that, are there ways to avoid being placed in that uncomfortable position? You bet there are! They’re a combination of skill as an agent, being a great persuader and having sound standards and boundaries.

Let’s look at three of the more common scenarios where an agent may feel victimized by a seller.

Pricing: The mere mention of the word is enough to wreak fear in the hearts of many an otherwise brave agent. There are some “universal” reasons for this. Here are just a few things I’ve frequently heard from agents:

1. “We are in an area where there are so few listings and so many buyers, it doesn’t matter what we price it at, there are always multiple bids and it goes way over asking. The sellers know this, so they are not interested in doing what we think is right.”
2. “The sellers want to try it at a higher price and say that they will come down later. When we try to get a price reduction down the road, they refuse or really balk.”
3. “The other agent said that they would list it for more, and they went with that agent.”

To effectively handle these situations, an agent must be prepared prior to ever getting to a listing appointment. The agent must have a clear boundary in mind regarding his or her limit or compromise position with the seller.

Consider examples one and two above. If they were really true, every home that comes on the market would sell. There would never be an expired listing. The truth is that there is a top price for every home. While I acknowledge the pricing challenges that agents face in hot markets, the agents are the pricing pros and must believe in themselves and their company.

If the seller is insisting on a price that the agent feels is unreasonable and unacceptable, the agent can walk away from the “liability” (It’s not a listing if the price makes it unsalable. It’s a liability.)

However, if the agent feels they would be willing to try the higher price for a period of time, they must communicate that boundary clearly to the sellers. They must tell the sellers exactly how long they are willing to expose it to the market at the higher price. The agent must get the sellers to agree to lower the price after a specific period of time. The agent can do this by getting the sellers to sign a post-dated price reduction. Be aware that if the sellers agree to the price reduction and then refuse to sign the post-dated reduction, it’s a big red flag. If the sellers are serious about selling and have confidence in their agent, they will commit in writing.

In example three, the agent must be prepared to handle the objection straightforwardly and on the spot. When the sellers tell an agent that another company told them that they were willing to list the property for more, the agent must question the statement.

Agent: “I appreciate your honesty. However, to clarify my understanding, you are telling me that the other company said they would list the property for more. Is that correct? Listing a property and selling it are two very different things. The other agent said they would list it for more. Did they actually mention that they could sell it for that? My goal is for you to be a seller and not just a lister. I care too much to simply tell you what I know you want to hear just to get the listing, then let you down later because I can’t deliver on my promise. Some agents don’t care as much as I do, and what happens is that they may “buy” a listing by initially over-committing on the price and then asking for a reduction soon after taking the listing.

Accepting Offers:

1. The agent knows that the offer being made is a good one. However, the bidder is starting low and wants to work their way up in the offer process.
2. Or, the bidder is a tough-nut and plays hardball with the seller. The seller lets emotions get in the way of bringing a meeting of the minds, and the negotiations fall apart.

The time to “teach” a seller about what to expect when an offer comes in is not when the offer comes in. The right time is when you take the listing.

Negotiating is where the rubber meets the road in real estate. That’s why they call them sellers. If all we had to do were list properties, we would be called listers and the client would be, too.

Take the bull by the horns and explain to the seller what negotiations can really be like. Tell them about people who start ridiculously low, only to come up after a few go’rounds. If the sellers get themselves in a dither because they are “insulted” by the low initial offer, they very well may lose a viable buyer.

Teach them that you are the pro and that you understand that negotiation is often a culturally based activity. Many different cultures consider it an insult to offer full price right out of the gate. Negotiating is an art and the process a compliment to the seller. It’s your job to cause a meeting of the minds through your conscientious effort on behalf of your clients.

Give them some possible negotiation scenarios and see what they would do if they were to occur. Remember that the best time to handle an objection is before it comes up. If you take the high road when it comes to educating sellers and you hope that they will behave honorably the way that you want them to, you are probably going to be disappointed in the long run.

Real estate is being done differently today. The competition is stiff, the web is a competitor and people are out there convincing (and are quite successful at it) sellers that they can do it without the help of a pro. If we do not step up to the plate and handle the process with strength and purpose instead of being bullied by it, we are only adding to our own demise. Let’s never again shirk our fiduciary duty to tell them what they need to know to make the best business decisions possible. That is the only true path to the continuance of our industry!

Published: March 8, 2001

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Marylyn B. Schwartz, CSP, is a noted expert in real estate and corporate sales training, team development, customer care and diversity issues. She is president of TEAMWEAVERS and a trainer for Leader's Choice, the number one real estate sales training program in North America. Marylyn is also an author and Business/Life Coach. Contact her at , or visit her website at teamweavers.com.