Recently, I was asked what I thought about the following situation: a group of young 20-something men were sitting around a conference room table at the company where they worked. The mayor of the city entered the room and greeted the young professionals. The business owner was aghast when not one of the men bothered to stand when greeting the mayor.

It’s amazing how such a simple thing can become a big event. Introductions—meeting and greeting each other—should be the beginning of a positive interaction. After all, first impressions are critical. Make a good first impression, and the relationship grows. Make a bad first impression, and it can be incredibly difficult to recover. Making a good first impression is easy. There are four simple steps to remember when meeting or greeting people. Adopt them, and you will be taking the first step toward building the best relationship possible.

1. Stand up.

   This goes for men and women alike, especially in business settings. When I ask groups to do a simple introduction exercise, a significant number of people fail to stand when being greeted or introduced. Yet, when we talk about the exercise afterward, everyone immediately understands the value of standing when greeting someone. They realize standing is a symbol of respect. It is particularly awkward for the person standing to bend over and shake hands with the seated person.

2. Smile and make eye contact.

   A smile goes a long way. Use it. People notice when someone shaking hands looks at the ceiling or at his shoes. Our eyes show that we are focused on the person. Our eyes talk, too. So let your eyes and smile convey that you are a warm and friendly person. It’s a great way to meet or greet someone.

3. State your greeting clearly.

   Don’t mumble. A clear “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Jones,” or “Good to see you again, Tom,” reinforces the message you just conveyed with your smile and eye contact. Saying the person’s name is an added bonus because it shows respect and helps you remember the person’s name.

4. Shake hands.

   About three seconds will do nicely. You can even lean toward the person slightly (just be careful about getting too close—generally people like a separation of at least 18 inches). Refrain from bone-crusher handshakes—it’s not a contest—or limp wrists. Just make your grip nice and firm.

That’s it. And you will start off every greeting and new contact in a manner that will give it every chance to be successful. That is the goal of etiquette: to help make our interactions with others positive and, in business, develop personal skills that help us succeed professionally. In a nutshell, practicing good etiquette will give you the ability to turn business contacts into extraordinary relationships.

Published: November 15, 2001

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Peter Post is a co-author of The Etiquette Advantage in Business (HarperCollins) and a director of the Emily Post Institute (www.emilypost.com). In addition to conducting interviews and answering business etiquette questions, Peter has developed a comprehensive business etiquette seminar “Creating Extraordinary Relationships.” You can send questions and comments directly to Peter at realtytimes@emilypost.com.