It's a surprisingly simple success strategy - stay in the present.

Sometimes it’s the simplest change that can make the most difference. Let me ask you, how would you rate yourself in “being present”? No, I don’t mean physically showing up…but being present in the here and now after you show up……..Have you ever talked with someone and noticed they weren’t really "there?" Or have you found yourself in a conversation but thinking about what you need from the store instead of what the other person is saying? Or, assuming you know exactly how your spouse or child or customer is going to react to certain news? All of this is a lack of being present.

Relationships are stronger and happen faster when the other person feels understood and listened to. You will take appropriate actions with more certainty when you have a clear understanding of the needs involved in the situation on both sides. Most of us know this, yet, according to Glenn Van Ekren in 12 Simple Secrets of Happiness, “very few people have studied or mastered listening techniques” even though studies indicate we spend 45% of our time listening. He asserts “We hear half of what is being said, listen to half of what we hear, believe half of that and remember only half of that.” For an eight-hour day, this translates into spending four hours in listening activities, hearing two hours' worth, listening to one hour's worth, understanding 30 minutes' worth and remembering eight minutes' worth! Do you think that being present to what is being said for more than eight minutes a day could enormously increase your advantage?

In the business best seller, Fish, being present is one of the secrets at the world famous Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle. When customers experience someone who really cares and listens to them, they are elated and lasting loyalty is built. When was the last time you shopped in a store and felt the person waiting on you was genuinely interested in you and what your needs were? How did that make you feel? Do you really listen when you meet with clients to their needs or do you do your “script”?

When I used to teach a day long class on Listings as part of The Power Program®, the concept of being present was an important part of what distinguished a successful agent from the rest. Few agents truly approach the listing interview as a chance to find out what the needs of the seller are. Most go to prove how they are the best suited agent to sell the house and they focus on themselves, rather than the seller. The old adage of a salesperson having 2 ears and 1 mouth and being most successful if they use them in those proportions is applicable here.

Perhaps you’ve taken some listings that you regretted taking later. The process of being present and really listening to the motivation and needs of the seller might have clued you into the problems that you encountered later. Or you might have realized how high maintenance this seller was going to be! Being present could save some real frustration down the line if you see this isn’t a listing you’d be best suited to servicing.

Even if you think you are good at this, spend the next couple of days noticing how you could be more present and how present (or not!) the people are that you are interacting with. Asking lots of questions, really listening- without judgment-to the answers, then clarifying by stating what you have heard are all good indicators you are really being present. It’s very simple, but very powerful!

Published: January 4, 2002

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Joeann Fossland GRI, LTG, MCC is a dynamic speaker and business coach. Creator of THE REAL ESTATE GAMETM, she provides coaching solutions enhance your effectiveness and life balance. You can subscribe to her free monthly newsletter, attend free monthly telephone seminars, and find out about classes delivered by email and personal coaching by visiting JoeAnn.com or e-mail her at .