Is there a difference between a bit of self-pity on occasion and down and out martyrdom? You bet your career there is. Recently I asked a class of 46 agents to brainstorm the things that were their biggest impediments to success. The list they came up with was a real eye opener for me and the whole group.

Not that there were many surprises, really. The same things showed up in the three groups who worked independently of each other. What was surprising was what they did not see and acknowledge about the list. See if you notice anything as you go through it. Here is a sampling of the list:

1. Time management

2. Staying on track

3. Prospecting

4. Separating lookers from real buyers

5. Staying motivated

6. Keeping in touch with past clients while servicing the current ones

7. Using technology as a help and not a hindrance

8. Closing skills

9. Dialogues for handling stalls and objections

10. Confusing activity with productivity

Can you relate to any one of these? Oh, you relate to more than one…? Well, take heart. There is good news, but there is also bad news. The good news is that most of these things are choices and under an agent’s control. The bad news is most of these things are choices and under an agent’s control. What a conundrum.

I have a favorite quote and it goes like this, “You cannot defend your present position and expand at the same time.” I wish I knew the source, so forgive me for not giving proper attribution. By the same token, you can’t change unless you recognize your own nonproductive behaviors.

Without a doubt, we all get the same number of hours in the day. It’s sheer nonsense when someone says, “They have more time than I do.” The proverbial “they” may use their time differently, but we all get the same 24/7/365. The moment we own that the way we use our time is our choice, then we are poised to do something about wasting time.

There are two rules that might help ensure that you keep control of your time more effectively:

• Lack of planning on someone else’s part, does not constitute an emergency on your part. Don’t let it.

• Can’t means won’t most of the time. Take responsibility for what you do and don’t go around saying you can’t or couldn’t. Say, “I choose or choose not to.”

If you embrace these two rules, you are already in a great position to handle staying on track, finding time to prospect and replacing activity with productivity. You’ll create more time by owing your double backs, excuses and victim responses (i.e. “He/she/it interrupted me”… Now it’s, “I allowed he/she/it to interrupt me. I won’t do that again. I am focused on the task at hand, and that’s prospecting…”)

As far as dialogues and closing skills getting in the way of success, that’s just plain unnecessary. There are any number of great training programs out there that have the curriculum to enable you to become the greatest salesperson in the world. Take the programs and then perfect what they teach.

By the way, I believe that if you are not devoting at least two hours a week to skill enhancement, you are not growing. If you are not growing, then you are doing the opposite.

Staying motivated is a tricky thing. It’s tricky because we often look for outside sources to motivate us. That’s to say, looking for the magic bullet and, in fact, staying motivated is largely a function of one’s attitude. If you think that you can or you think that you can’t, either way you’re right.

If you want to get up every morning, jump out of bed and shout, “Yea, it’s a real estate day!” you’ll have to start with a real love for what you do. The knowledge that there are good days and there are days that don’t go the way we want them to has to be a booster rocket and not an anchor. The faster you realize and embrace the fact that the best way to feel better about a bad day is to start afresh the next day and let go of yesterday, the better off you’ll be. We are powerless to change the past, but we have a great deal of power to affect the outcome of our future. The future is largely what we make it.

Knowing that there are answers to problems is not enough. We have to take the knowledge and make it actionable. Information is useless. Knowledge is actionable. Take action today, own the outcome of tomorrow and, when necessary, build a bridge and get over it!

Published: February 22, 2002

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Marylyn B. Schwartz, CSP, is a noted expert in real estate and corporate sales training, team development, customer care and diversity issues. She is president of TEAMWEAVERS and was a trainer for the Floyd Wickman Courses©, Sweathogs® program for over five years. Marylyn is also an author and Business/Life Coach. Contact her at , or visit her website at MarylynBSchwartz.com.