Do you love the surprises that show up in your business each day? If you are like many people, these surprises may seem more like problems or challenges. You become stressed and anxious. You may even think these things just happen to you and it is your bad luck. How you relate to the surprises can make the difference between the day being a happy one or stress-filled one.

While you have little or no control over the circumstances that occur in you life, you do have control over your response to them. A critical difference between the ordinary agents and the extraordinary ones is the ability reframe or recontexualize a problem into a surprise or opportunity, giving a much different perspective. President Harry Truman noticed, “A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.”

A study of consumer satisfaction showed that a customer is more loyal to you when there is a problem well solved than they are in a smooth transaction with no problems at all. Problems provide you the opportunity to don that Wonder Woman outfit or Superman cape and WOW them with your response. Do you waste energy complaining about the circumstances or do you spring into action, excited you have the opportunity to create a deeper loyalty? I love what Duke Ellington said, “I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.” Your attitude can limit the stress you feel or it can add to it. Sales trainer Denis Waitley says “Decide to be happy, knowing it’s an attitude, a habit gained from daily practice, and not a result or payoff.”

As a coach, I know awareness is always the first step to growth and change. Here are some ways you can be more aware and shift your thinking into power and action instead of stress and energy drain:

1. Change Your Thinking

   Think of each unexpected occurrence as a surprise, rather than a problem. Believing this surprise holds a key to increased success will enable you to see the gift in what has happened. As motivational speaker and super-salesman, Og Mandino says, “Obstacles are necessary for success because in selling, as in all careers of importance, victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats. Yet each struggle, each defeat, sharpens your skills and strengths, your courage and your endurance, your ability and your confidence and thus each obstacle is a comrade-in-arms forcing you to become better… or quit. Each rebuff is an opportunity to move forward; turn away from them, avoid them, and you throw away your future.”

2. Let Go Of What You Cannot Change

   Choose to use your energy for the things you CAN do something about. As each circumstance occurs, ask yourself, what do you just need to accept and what actions can you take next. Focus on that action. Or, let go of spending energy on the immovable. Just let it go and say, “NEXT”…… When a 113 year old man was asked the reason for his longevity, he said” When it rains, I let it.”

3. Be Provocative

   Create some ways to be ready for the unexpected. If you set aside a small amount from each closing into a WOW fund, when you needed to put in some money to make things come together, it will be sitting there waiting to be used for just that purpose. It won’t feel like a commisionectomy that you have a bit of resentment about. Accept the fact that surprises happen in this business and be ready to become the problem solver extraordinaire. Think about all the places you can be proactive and prepare for something to occur.

   In the coming year, look forward to the surprises. They are the places that your real growth happens and that illusion of control most of us have can cause us unwarranted stress. Remember what Lawrence Bixby said, “ Each handicap is like a hurdle in a steeplechase, and when you ride up to it, if you throw your heart over, the horse will go along too.” You do have the ability to have more fun each day. I am looking forward to finding out what surprises the new year has in store for me! Are you?

   “Times of stress and difficulty are seasons of opportunity when the seeds of progress are sown.” --Thomas F. Woodlock

   Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine...[your] values and goals... Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want. - Marsha Sinetar

   Ken Blanchard shared this:” Between stimulus and response is a space. In that space lies our power and our freedom to choose our response. In those responses lie our growth and happiness. Integrity in that moment of choice means you listen to your conscience, listen to the heart within you as to what is right in the moment”

   "Each handicap is like a hurdle in a steeplechase, and when you ride up to it, if you throw your heart over, the horse will go along too." - Lawrence Bixby

Published: December 17, 2002

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Joeann Fossland ePRO, GRI, MCC, PMN, SRS is a dynamic, international speaker and business coach. She personally coaches a small number of extraordinary agents who want to leverage their production results and have a life they love! She was recognized as one of the 25 Most Influential Women in Real Estate in 2008 by Stephan Swanapoel. Subscribe to her free Tuesday Tips, attend Fossland's Forums, free monthly tele-seminars, and find out about classes delivered by email and personal coaching by visiting Joeann.com or email her at . You can also connect at Facebook and Twitter.