Dependency is not the inevitable end of aging. Today people live healthy, active, involved lives well into their eighties and beyond. Increasing numbers of the more than 4000 Canadians who celebrated their 100th birthday (centurions, as I like to think of them) are also living independent lives.

But stereotypes persist even though we have proof that today's "seniors" are not the frail, dependent, doddering individuals that remain the butt of jokes about old age. Ageism is so ingrained in society that we may ignore what we see around us and unconsciously revert to stereotypes when we think about our parents' futures and our own.

"Put them in a home" sounds as dreadful to most children as it does to the parents in question, and yet this persists as the chief role adult children expect to play in their parents' future. (We'll use "parents" here although everything applies to a single parent, too.) In reality, there is much you can do to support your parents' independence without taking over their lives, adding to their stress or making decisions for them.

Since home is headquarters for the new decades-long retirement, housing that preserves and enhances independence, regardless of any physical ills that occur, is an essential environment for successful living. This may be a good place to begin supporting your parents continuing independence.

Caring without intruding

Whether you are 35 and your parents are in their fifties or you're 55 and your parents are over 75, sex and money are two of the most difficult topics to talk to them about. In broaching the subject of where they will live, you may be tackling both these subjects and more, so don't be surprised if you have trouble finding the right moment or the right approach to such conversations. Here are a few jumping off points to consider:

Published: April 29, 2003

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Futurist and Strategist PJ Wade is "The Catalyst" - intent on "Challenging The Best to Become Even Better." PJ earned this title by translating the dynamic impact of Boomers and their multi-generation families into relevant insights that start people thinking and taking action—in business and in life. Author of 8 books and more than 1800 published articles, PJ encourages individuals to become their own futurist. PJ writes and speaks about the insight, knowledge and solid decision-making skills that professionals and their clients need to live and work in this vortex of change. For instance, since PJ knows that home is headquarters for the new decades-long "unretirement," she wrote the popular book "Reverse Mortgages: Best Friend, Worst Enemy...Your Choice!", which is filled with suggestions and cautions on protecting, building and managing home equity. Her new business book, "What's Your Point?: Cut The Crap, Hit The Mark & Stick!" will be published in 2012. As The Catalyst, PJ provides strategic communication, client appreciation and advanced education services to the financial, tourism, lifestyle and service sectors - and the clients they serve. A frequently-quoted financial and business commentator, PJ is a thought-provoking strategic speaker who offers practical, real-life suggestions on leaving "the box" behind and embracing Forward Thinking - a talent she regularly demonstrates in this column. For more on keynotes, blogs, books and information on a range of 21st-Century topics, visit TheCatalyst.com.