Have you ever noticed that when things are going great with your real estate career, your personal life seems to suffer?

When the market is good, real estate just seems to consume your time, and your family pays the price. Then you feel guilty. When business is bad, you spend more time at home, but you aren’t producing the same income, so you aren’t as happy and you worry that you are not providing well enough for your family. Then you still feel guilty. How do you break the cycle and have it all?

Good News!

The good news is that the answer is simple. I said simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It actually requires that you mentally discipline yourself to make it happen. The good news is that, once you make the commitment, the rewards of a more balanced life are well worth the effort.

The most amazing thing is that, just like Earl Nightingale’s famous parable, "The Strangest Secret," the answer is so simple and so obvious that most agents don’t think of it as being truly valuable. So the information on how to balance your life remains a secret, even though it’s right in front of you.

Revealing the Secret

Here it is: Start by taking one complete day off per week. That’s one 24-hour period each week where you do nothing relating to real estate. Your pager and cell phone are turned off, you do not check messages, you do not call the office, you are off. This is a simple instruction that is harder to do than it sounds, but is the first step you must take if you are serious about balancing your life.

A couple of suggestions: You should always take off the same day each week. Your spouse and kids should know this is their day. If you give them 100% of your attention on that day, they will automatically give you more flexibility and forgiveness if you need to work late or have an offer to present during dinner on one of the other six days of the week.

Next, take off one long weekend a month. This is a normal Saturday and Sunday, with one extra day, either Friday or Monday. When you work on the weekends, your family often feels short-changed. Their world still revolves around a Monday-through-Friday time frame, so it is important to give them a feeling that they can count on you to be free on some weekends. This is a great time to do something special with your family, fun little trips or special outings.

Leave the Office Behind…It Will Survive Without You

A key point to remember when you take the long weekend is, do not call the office or leave your pager turned on. And, especially important, don’t talk about work or say that you should be working. This will only create resentment. Give 100% of your attention to your family and friends during this time.

Business philosopher and noted author Jim Rohn says, "Most people worry about their family when they are at work and about work when they are with their family." You need to simply learn to be where you are. When you are at work, work. When you are at home, give your family your undivided attention. I know this is easier said than done, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Make A Commitment to Get Away From it All

The last step is to take at least three weeks of vacation each year. With all the strange hours you work in real estate, with all the stress of dealing with clients at very emotional times in their lives, you need to get away. After all, didn’t you get into real estate to have a little more control over your time? Key point: Vacations only count if you do not call the office while you are away. In fact, I recommend that you not talk to another real estate agent when you are on vacation.

Once you are committed to taking the time off, sit down with your family each year and get them involved. One great idea my wife came up with for our family is to allow everyone in the family to write down where they want to go, then put everyone’s choices in a hat, and draw one. That way everyone feels they have a voice in what the family does.

Enjoy Your Life

If you follow these simple steps, I know you will enjoy every aspect of your life even more.

Published: July 15, 2003

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