You've found out your buyer is also working with other agents. While it is easy to feel betrayed, it is also wise not to overreact. What should you do?

With the right attitude, you could save your potential sale.

Now for an attitude adjustment. Until the buyer signs a representation agreement with you, he or she is not a client, even if you have been treating him/her like one. You can't blame the customer for shopping other 'stores' when he wants to buy, especially if you haven't educated him or her that this isn't OK. Instead, examine why your buyer used another agent(s.) Was it out of ignorance? or contempt for your time? Either one doesn't work for you, so your job is to nip faithlessness in the bud.

The first-time homebuyer

A lot can be forgiven of the first-time homebuyer, but ignorance will help you go broke as fast as maliciousness. The first-time homebuyer according to the National Association of Realtors 2003 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers, is 32 years old with a household income of $54,800. Over 37 percent of first-timers are single. The majority use the Internet to shop for a home, where it stands to reason they will meet lots of other agents. Homebuyers also told the NAR that their number one priority in finding a home was the right neighborhood. Again, it stands to reason, that the buyer simply found himself touring other neighborhoods and meeting agents that way. But the numbers to pay attention to is that 75 percent of buyers will use an agent, but one out of four won't. It's your job to get the buyer to understand the importance of being represented. You also want to be the one your buyer chooses to represent him or her.

In this case, honesty is the best policy. Simply sit the buyer down and explain that in the real estate industry, buyers can get better service if they stick with one agent to help them find a home.

Explain the concept of 'procuring cause,' and that if your buyer sees a home with another agent and prefers to have you sell her the home, that you won't be able to because that agent is entitled to take your commission. If the buyer is working with multiple agents, it is simply too difficult to sort out which homes the buyer has viewed with which agent, and avoid showing the buyer the same homes. With hundreds or thousands of agents in your MLS, surely the buyer can see your point.

That's why buyers' agents require their customers to sign buyer representation agreements. Tell your buyer that you would be happy to tailor a representation agreement that she would be comfortable signing and that you would be comfortable operating within - for a period of time or for certain neighborhoods or homes, but you won't be able to go forward without a contract.

At this point, there is nothing wrong with pointing out the economic reality that only one agent is going to get paid when the buyer finally finds the right home. You simply can't afford to spend your time on the hope of getting paid.

Sometimes the buyer is simply trying to see which agent she likes the best before choosing one. That's fine, but if you have already met with the buyer and shown her some homes, it's time for a decision. Again, you can't move forward without a buyer's representation agreement.

The it's-all-about-me homebuyer

Some buyers feel that finding them a home is a 'may-the-best-agent-win' scenario. They don't particularly respect agents or their time, and view them as a necessary means to an end. If one agent is helpful, then many agents must be better.

This is a buyer that has no empathy for your point of view because all they care about is getting the home they want at the best price. You may notice that you have already spent a lot of time on this buyer, as he is the type that wants to see everything on the market, regardless of whether it is right for him or not.

This buyer is also the type who will cut you out of the deal if there is any possible way to do it. He'll go behind your back to try to negotiate directly with the seller or with the builder - all the while thinking he is saving money.

You can use his ruthlessness to advantage. Because of his 'by-any-means-necessary' mentality, this buyer will respond well to having what he sees as the inside track. Casually explain to this buyer that not all the homes he sees on the Internet or with other agents are the only ones for sale. A lot of homes are sold through the 'agent network' or word of mouth before they are ever listed in the MLS. Tell him you belong to such a network and if he is really serious about finding a home, then you need to have him under contract. Otherwise, you have no incentive but to tell your contracted clients about the homes first. This a particularly effective strategy in a sellers' market when buyers see homes snapped up quickly.

If your buyer doesn't respond, then you have no other choice but to tell him that you feel he has had plenty of time to see how you work and would he like you to continue working on his behalf? If so, you can't proceed without a contract. If he says no, be pleasant and thank him for the opportunity of serving him. Then walk away, and don't look back. The next time he calls and wants to look at homes, tell him you regret that you can no longer assist him.

This is tough for most agents to do. But you won't regret it. Better to work with someone who wants to work with you.

Prevention

The reason most agents get into situations with buyers who are unfaithful is that they don't lay down the ground rules from the beginning. The first thing to do is ask the buyer if they are working with other agents. Most will be honest, not realizing the implications of your question.

Use this opportunity to explain how real estate works. Tell him or her the advantages of becoming a client - that he or she has the right to be told about every property that you can find that meets his or her perimeters, including foreclosures and for-sale-by-owners. If your buyer wants to work with multiple agents, those agents are under no obligation to show the buyer anything other than what they want him or her to see. The buyer will actually see or hear about fewer homes than he or she would working with one agent.

Explain that sometimes when buyers go looking on their own, it can have unintended repercussions. For example, if they visit a builder and you haven't registered them, you will be unable to represent them in the transaction unless they pay you out of pocket. Since they want the loan to pay the fees, that should be sobering for them.

Explain that you will show them any homes that they want to see, but you need reasonable perimeters. For that reason, it is your policy that you only take buyers out who have been preapproved for a loan and are under contract with you. That way you know what range to search.

If your buyer is reluctant to sign a contract because he or she just doesn't like contracts, you can suggest that they pay for a consultation with you, which includes buyer education and showing a limited number of homes or neighborhoods. After that, they should have a better idea whether you are the agent for them.

And you'll have a better idea whether they are the clients for you.

Published: July 23, 2003

Use of this article without permission is a violation of federal copyright laws.

Blanche is a renowned author of five real estate books. Her newest, Bubbles, Booms and Busts: Make Money In Any Real Estate Market, McGraw-Hill, was rave-reviewed by The New York Times. She was also selected from hundreds of real estate experts to contribute to Donald Trump's book, Trump: The Best Real Estate Advice I Ever Received: 100 Top Experts Share Their Strategies, Rutledge Hill Press, and is featured on page 68. Order Now Review - Honors In 2006, Blanche was selected among scores of candidates to author two consumer real estate guidebooks for the National Association of Realtors: The NAR Guide to Home Buying, and The NAR Guide to Home Selling, Wiley & Sons. She is currently planning two new books for the NAR and its members.       Known for her keen insight into real estate industry issues and for her ability to make complex subjects easy to understand, Blanche is a sought-after keynote and continuing education speaker. Real estate organizations from MLSs, to brokerages, to franchisors, to associations hire her to provide up-to-the-minute analysis of real estate industry news and advice on how to improve revenues. Her passionate delivery, peppered with stinging wit, is a huge hit with audiences and fans. Don Klein, CEO Greater Nashville Association of Realtors, Blanche Evans, Richard Courtney, president 2007, GRAR "The GNAR membership meeting last week featured Blanche Evans as the keynote speaker. Her comments and insights resonated extremely well with those in attendance and we have had many requests for copies of her PowerPoint Presentation. She was a terrific part of the membership meeting and convention program!" - Don Klein, CEO Greater Nashville Association of Realtors Coverage from WSMV, Nashville - 8-14-2007 That Interview Guy - Get Inside The Head Of Today's Generation 2007 AE Institute Session - To purchase 2006 AE Institute Session - Parts 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 HouseValues Mastermind call - Parts 1 2 Blanche's fireside chat with Jeremy Conaway, HAR - Click here. For more articles by Blanche, click here.