You're working with a first-time homebuyer who also happens to be single, female, and young. Like many urban homebuyers, she wants a home with a yard, near her work, and near cultural opportunities. You show her older homes that can use a little tender loving care, but have sound bones to their structure. She selects one, but before she will allow you to draft an offer, she suddenly pulls back.

"Before I make an offer, I'd like my uncle to see it."

You knew it had to happen. You smile through your gritted teeth.

"Of course, when would it be convenient to show you again?"

And the purchase is delayed while you, your client and Uncle Dealkiller try to thread your schedules through the same needle.

You almost don't want to go to the appointment. You're sweating that Uncle Dealkiller will find something wrong with the house. The house is fifty years old, it's never been remodeled, and there are cracks in the walls and brick, aren't there? On the other hand, you have great maintenance records from the seller, the roof is new, and the house is half a block from the prettiest park in the city. You know the house is going to be hard to top for the money. But will Uncle Dealkiller?

That's when it's time to turn Uncle Dealkiller into your new best friend.

According to Joshua Jarvis, who is learning all the tricks of the real estate trade the hard way, he says, you're not going to move the transaction forward until the buyer's confidence has been boosted.

"The buyer sometimes just needs reassurance that they are making the right decision," says Jarvis. "What they really want is for someone to say - 'Wow, this house is built like a rock! You ought to buy it!'"

Jarvis says that he has met enough Uncle Dealkillers to know that they are part of the experience of serving inexperienced homebuyers. Uncle Dealkillers can be several types of people, but they are usually older and do much of their own maintenance on their own homes. Uncle Dealkillers can also be "investment" experts, believing that their success in business qualifies them to act as Realtor surrogates. Some can be jealous of young people who can earn such high salaries and get such favorable loans that they can buy homes that the older people only dreamed of until they were well into their careers. Others haven't recognized that their "little girl" is all grown up and capable of buying her own home so they want to micromanage her decisions.

So Jarvis invites Uncle Dealkillers in on the deal early enough for them to actually be of help. When he is working with inexperienced buyers, he has learned to ask before they blind-side him - "Is there anyone you would like to help you with this decision? You are welcome to bring someone along while we review your selection."

Jarvis says that he knows that capitulation goes against conventional wisdom, that the Realtor is the expert and should establish his authority and that a good Realtor shouldn't allow non-experts (non-principals) to interfere with the deal. But the idea is get the buyer into a home she'll love, isn't it? Jarvis believes that the deal will actually get made faster and to the greater satisfaction of the buyer if he makes the inexperienced buyer more comfortable. He uses his youth and 'new agent' status as a tool. He tells Uncle Dealkiller, "I'm glad you are coming along. I could use another pair of eyes."

Now Uncle Dealkiller is part of the team. Score one for Jarvis.

The downside of inviting Uncle Dealkiller along is that "you will show the buyer a lot more homes," says Jarvis, but the upside is that after a while, Uncle Dealkiller relaxes a little.

"There is a lot of inventory, so if one house has a minor problem, Uncle Dealkiller will likely say - 'Let's move on,' but then after seeing a lot of houses, those minor problems start looking really minor."

The inexperienced homebuyer doesn't know what to look for, explains Jarvis. "It actually helps if Uncle Dealkiller is telling her the same things I have already told her - that something is major or minor and that she needs an inspection, for example."

In one case, Uncle Dealkiller nearly killed the sale. "There was a foundation crack in the basement of a 30-year-old home," recalls Jarvis. "Uncle Dealkiller said let's just walk away from this one, but the buyer really loved the house. Everything else about the house was perfect."

When Uncle Dealkiller went home, Jarvis said to his dejected buyer, "I'm glad Uncle Dealkiller spotted that foundation problem. What if there had been carpet on it - we wouldn't have known the crack was there! That gives us more opportunity. If you really want the house, we can get it contingent upon the seller addressing the foundation problem or you can offer less on the home and we'll make a big deal about the foundation."

The buyer cheered up and is thinking about what to do.

And Jarvis has made a friend out of Uncle Dealkiller. "I get referrals from them," says Jarvis. "they feel good because I told them I need your help. My advice is find the dealkiller and go after them."

What if the buyer has zero confidence, and involves more meddlers than My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

"That's when you tell them, it's your decision," says Jarvis. "You are the one who is going to be responsible for the payments, and for being happy in the house."

The best thing to do, advises Jarvis, "is once you see someone else coming into the deal, don't treat them like a buyer, treat them like an equal - like another Realtor."

Published: September 4, 2003

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Blanche is a renowned author of five real estate books. Her newest, Bubbles, Booms and Busts: Make Money In Any Real Estate Market, McGraw-Hill, was rave-reviewed by The New York Times. She was also selected from hundreds of real estate experts to contribute to Donald Trump's book, Trump: The Best Real Estate Advice I Ever Received: 100 Top Experts Share Their Strategies, Rutledge Hill Press, and is featured on page 68. Order Now Review - Honors In 2006, Blanche was selected among scores of candidates to author two consumer real estate guidebooks for the National Association of Realtors: The NAR Guide to Home Buying, and The NAR Guide to Home Selling, Wiley & Sons. She is currently planning two new books for the NAR and its members.       Known for her keen insight into real estate industry issues and for her ability to make complex subjects easy to understand, Blanche is a sought-after keynote and continuing education speaker. Real estate organizations from MLSs, to brokerages, to franchisors, to associations hire her to provide up-to-the-minute analysis of real estate industry news and advice on how to improve revenues. Her passionate delivery, peppered with stinging wit, is a huge hit with audiences and fans. Don Klein, CEO Greater Nashville Association of Realtors, Blanche Evans, Richard Courtney, president 2007, GRAR "The GNAR membership meeting last week featured Blanche Evans as the keynote speaker. Her comments and insights resonated extremely well with those in attendance and we have had many requests for copies of her PowerPoint Presentation. She was a terrific part of the membership meeting and convention program!" - Don Klein, CEO Greater Nashville Association of Realtors Coverage from WSMV, Nashville - 8-14-2007 That Interview Guy - Get Inside The Head Of Today's Generation 2007 AE Institute Session - To purchase 2006 AE Institute Session - Parts 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 HouseValues Mastermind call - Parts 1 2 Blanche's fireside chat with Jeremy Conaway, HAR - Click here. For more articles by Blanche, click here.