Perception is reality.

How many times have you heard that before? If you're like me, enough to know that the manner in which you're perceived really does affect the level of communication you have with other people.

As a matter of fact, a survey conducted by Communication Briefings found that 82% of the respondents felt the manner in which a person answers the phone greatly impacts the perception they had of that company. Eighty-two percent!

And the same holds true in a networking situation, especially when you're meeting someone for the first time. Their initial perception of you is going to form the basis of their "first impression."

So what can an active, networking Realtor do to manage the perception others have of him or her? Easy ... just remember the 12 x 12 x 12 rule. This tool asks the following three questions: How do you look from 12 feet away? How do you look from 12 inches away? And what are the first 12 words out of your mouth?

How do you look from 12 feet away?

One of the first questions people ask themselves, long before they consciously begin to form an opinion, is so basic it often surprises people when I tell them: Do you look the part? In other words, as you approach the person you're about to meet, they're looking at your shoes, your shirt and your jacket, and are subconsciously asking themselves if you "look like" you belong.

If you ever find yourself attending a networking event where you're not sure what to wear, I'd recommend you dressing up half a notch more than what you think everyone else is going to be wearing. That might mean putting on a jacket (and possibly a tie) for the men and a business suit for the ladies. Either way, this will give you that extra little "edge" when meeting someone for the first time, because you never know who you'll run into.

How do you look from 12 inches away?

After passing the test from 12 feet away, you're now being viewed from the first 12 inches where people are sizing up your body language. Do you look excited? Do you look bored? Are you happy to be there?

These questions, and many more, are racing through that person's head before you've said one word. I read a survey that said our body language accounts for over 80% of communication during one-on-one discussions, so it stands to reason that during the first 12 inches, people are "hearing" what you say loud and clear.

So if we know people are "listening" to our body language, let's make sure we're communicating the right message. The first thing to do is initiate eye contact. This is a signal to the other person that you're about to engage them in conversation and it puts that person at ease.

Another thing to remember when "communicating" with someone in the first 12 inches is to smile. Research has shown that when meeting someone for the first time, smiling is one of the single most powerful communication tools you have, so be sure to use it.

What are the first 12 words out of your mouth?

You've gotten past the first 12 feet and the first 12 inches, and now you've shaken hands and introduced yourself. What do you say next? Well, when I'm networking the first question people usually ask me is, "So what do you do?" And keeping my first 12 words in mind, I usually reply with something like this: "I'm a motivational speaker who shows people how to talk so others will listen."

I've found this gives a little twist to that age-old networking question, and creates an interest in myself right away. Now you'll notice that my answer was actually a little longer than 12 words, but that's not really the point. The key point to remember is after looking the part with a nice jacket (first 12 feet), and initiating eye contact with a warm smile (first 12 inches), by the time I get to the first 12 words (or 14 in this case), I've already created a positive first impression of myself in the mind of that other individual.

Imagine yourself standing out in the ultra competitive real estate world by creating a rock solid first impression with everyone you meet. How would that impact your business?

Oh, and by the way, if you're not entirely sure what your first 12 words should be, how about this?

"My name is Brian Hilliard, and I help turn dreams into homes."

That's not something people hear every day, and at the very least, it should make them pause and ask you some questions.

So when it comes to creating a positive perception of both yourself and your business, just keep the 12 x 12 x 12 rule in mind, and you'll be well on your way towards networking like a pro!

Published: November 10, 2003

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As a popular speaker and author of the resource How to Get More Business in Today's Tough Market, Brian specializes in helping busy agents get more leads and close more deals - even in a market as "challenging" as this. For a free report on 2 Easy Ways to Get More Business in Today's Tough Market, just email my office and we'll send it right over.