I recently fielded a series of questions from a single woman who was going to settle on a house the following day. The questions took me a bit by surprise because they weren't the kind I'd expect of any well-educated person less than 24-hours away from making the biggest purchase of her life so far.

After I tried unsuccessfully to calm her down, the woman said that "it was times like this that I wish I were married to share the stress."

I found the comment funny, since the recent annual meeting of the Urban Land Institute seemed to conclude that women were far better suited to dealing with the stress of home buying than their spouses.

Women are the gender responsible for most spending decisions, including home purchases. They are choosing, according to panelists at ULI seminars, to live in communities that emphasize social interaction and convenience, enabling them to simultaneously nurture and multi-task.

The recurring message for developers: Those who "really listen to women" will be the most successful.

"Market to her peripheral vision," said Mollie Carmichael, vice president of market research and product development for the Irvine Community Development Co. in Newport Beach, Calif.

"Know what she wants," Carmichael said. "If she has to ask, it is too late. She will decide between your home and the competition."

Jacinta McCann, managing principal of EDAW Inc. in San Francisco, said that although most women now work full-time and the number of female-headed households is up sharply, most U.S. housing is "based on the Levittown model," with the home as a haven for the male worker and sole wage earner and his family.

Nearly two-thirds of the owner-occupied housing units are single-family detached homes that do not necessarily meet the needs of single-parent households, childless double-income couples or even families with children.

"These housing options lack flexibility, variety and complexity," she said.

McCann cited a survey in which females rated surrounding community and proximity to work as more important in choosing where to live than price.

Respondents said the top three weaknesses of neighborhoods and communities were lack of transportation choices, similarity in appearance of housing, and lack of shared open space.

The top four strengths were access to good grocery stores, great parks, choices in transportation, and quality of landscape design.

In addition, EDAW has found through its marketing research that women place a high priority on a safe environment, access to services and employment, the ability to work in their homes, and access to family-oriented recreational activities.

This suggests a need for more integrated-use, closely knit communities designed around open space, she said.

"Women-friendly trends in communities are housing clusters with built-in child-care features, secure maintenance and service providers to accommodate two-worker families, shared housing for singles, easy-but-healthy take-home meals, and teen-friendly environments," McCann said.

"Women are all about saving time, and they need amenities that enable them to do this," said Melinda Masson, president and chief executive officer of the Merit Cos. in Mission Viejo, Calif. "They want to live in places that give them more choices in how to spend time with their family. They want communities where they feel like they are part of what is going on, but they don't want to have to bear the entire burden of making things happen ... They want to meet people, so their kids can walk down the street and see familiar faces."

Communities centered on a single amenity such as a golf clubhouse tend to be perceived as less welcoming for women and children.

"The big challenge is making the leap to a hybrid form of clubhouse," McCann said. "They are seldom used as effectively as they could be. If we connect the dots better between those who plan and design communities, and those who determine the social structure, we would go a long way toward closing the gap between what we want and what we have."

Many attributes that women seek in communities are in alignment with the preferences of other so-called "nontraditional" households, such as immigrant families, childless couples, and singles, said Steven R. Kellenberg, principal of EDAW in Irvine, Calif.

"More thought is being given about how to integrate (development) into the community fabric," Kellenberg said. "A lot of this is about creating atmosphere, having activity flow into the street, providing individuality in homes and a lot of shared common space.

"It's about providing greater security through public space, not gating," he said.

Published: December 4, 2003

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Al Heavens writes about real estate and home repair and improvement. He is the author of What No One Ever Tells You About Renovating Your Home: Real-Life Advice For Hassle-free, Cost-Effective Remodeling.