Seldom does a young, handsome Keanu Reeves fall in love with attractive but considerably older Diane Keaton, as the storyline developed in this year's hit movie “Something’s Gotta Give.”

It would be nice if ageism didn't exist, but in real life, age differences can be a considerable barrier in relationships, not because of the age, but the differences in attitudes that the age represents as a stereotype.

Take the difference in age between a typical Realtor and a typical homebuyer. If they were Diane and Keanu, they might find a lot in common on screen, but if they were trying to do business, they might find some barriers, particularly when it comes to communication styles and technology adoption.

For argument's sake, let's allow Keanu to represent the new generation of homebuyers - mid-30s, upwardly mobile, technology-savvy, according to information gathered by the California Association of Realtors. Keanu is a Gen-Xer, in the first generation of homebuyers to grow up with a 50 percent divorce rate. Gen-Xers grew up using Gameboys and Atari to amuse themselves because no one was at home for these latch-key kids. They trust technology, because it was technology which kept them company while they waited for parents to come home. They have learned to distrust institutions because the institution of marriage and family let them down. So, they trust peer opinions over brands. They prefer to do business with a contemporary who answers e-mail, sends listing alerts, knows how to take and upload digital photos, and gets them past AOL spam sensors.

Diane's generation, if you will, is the Baby Boomer generation, who grew up feeling safe and pampered and would like life to continue that way. This generation respects brands, so working for a name-brand brokerage is important, as well as having long-standing relationships of trust. Experience counts for a lot in this generation, and because of improved health care and overall prosperity, this generation is just hitting its stride as a work force. When confronted with change, the Boomer still feels in charge and is more likely to want to change the consumer than change for the consumer.

So if Diane believes a phone call is better than an e-mail, and Keanu prefers to e-mail, the two generations are already butting heads over how they will communicate instead of what they communicate about. If Diane can’t or won’t or doesn’t want to use the technologies that Keanu wants her to use in her services, he may well wonder what good she is because he values communication and technical skills, while she values her years of experience.

While it's true that Diane can still do the job of real estate, Keanu may view her lack of technical skills rather disdainfully.

Many older agents are rather like an older home that has become functionally obsolete. It's still a good house, but if the owner hasn't done any updates, a buyer wonders why in the world it's worth top dollar. Yet the seller stubbornly holds fast to old-fashioned floorplans, decor and appliances, and gets angry with the buyer for not appreciating the worth of those out-of-date items.

It's easy to see why this romance isn't made in heaven. It isn't the age difference, but the difference in attitudes.

There is some very real prejudice out there against older real estate agents, because they are easily stereotyped as being anti-technology and otherwise old-fashioned in their business style. The only way they can overcome that with younger tech-savvy buyers is by having updated skills. This may be difficult to grasp, but unless real estate professionals update their skills to communicate and serve buyers in the medium in which they are comfortable - the Internet - then they are no different from that older home that has never had an update that the seller demands top dollar for and the buyer finds overpriced.

Published: April 5, 2004

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