Realty Times' just received this letter from a Realtor reader:

"I am a new agent, and I have a client who is stating that he is not working with just one agent. I don't know if he is pulling my leg. He says who ever finds him a home that he likes is the one he will go with. Would you waste your time with this client?"

New Agent, the fact that you're asking means you already have an intuition about this guy, and it isn't good. You're new at real estate, but you already have instincts that tell you when your time is being "wasted."

Your buyer fancies himself as a player. He's trying to maintain as much control over the homebuying process as possible, but behind it all, is one of two motivations, and neither of them are good for you. However, you need the practice of handling commitmentphobic buyers because they are increasing in number all the time.

Either he's terrified - of being committed, of making a mistake, of being made a fool, and in that case he's going to be a lot more trouble to bring to the closing table. His unrealistic expectations could possibly cost you better, more lucrative deals along the way while you desperately try to make him 'pay off.'

The other scenario is even worse, and that is that he has no intention of doing right by you and has tipped you off from the beginning. That way he can shrug his shoulders and tell himself 'Hey, I warned her...,' and he can move forward with a clear conscience.

Throwing-good-money-after-bad in order to recoup an imagined investment is a poor strategy, and it is a worse one when dealing with a player. Even if you were able to find the right home for this guy, how likely is it that he would act fairly toward you or the seller? This is exactly the kind of person who lowballs sellers, makes unreasonable demands, and who might well try to cut you out of the deal when you do find him a home.

So, if you want to take this guy on, just for the sake of exercising your wits, knowing in advance that there is little chance for success, then here's the way to do it. And who knows? You might even sell this buyer a home and get paid.

All it takes is separating him from his fears, and developing better negotiating skills than he has, along with showing confidence, attitude and fortitude. But most of all, it takes the ability to walk away, because the following techniques will cause this buyer to either lighten up or tighten up. If he lightens up, he'll start to listen to you and open up with the real information you need to make this deal happen, and then you have a chance of selling him a home. If he tightens up, you don't have a prayer of closing this deal.

Establish new rules of engagement.

All contests have rules. It's not unfair of you to ask what they are and to establish some of your own.

Ask him how many agents he's working with and how they might overlap. How has he chosen these agents - by area? For example, are you all searching for homes in the same one-mile radius or all over the city? It makes a difference....

When he looks confused, continue, "You want several agents working for you, but Realtors have the same resources for finding you a home - the MLS, FSBOs, and word-of-mouth networking about homes coming on the market. Are you expecting one of us to have a resource the others don't have? If so, what?"

Tell him that the reason you want to know is that he's laid out a challenge, but you need to limit your risk. That's how you make money. Tell him you will only search for homes that fit his criteria, but you need to know what that criteria is, or otherwise you're trying to hit a target blindfolded.

He will give you only vague parameters, so ask questions to make them more narrow.

Explain that finding a home isn't all there is to working with a buyer. "We don't make any money unless we tell you about the homes for sale, show them to you and you make an offer that gets you the home. Even then there are a lot of issues that have to be solved before we get to closing - inspections, disclosures, repairs, just to name a few. But the factor that kills more deals than any is buyers not being able to qualify for the homes they want, so to avoid that problem and improve my chances of successfully helping you find a home, we need to get you prequalified by a lender."

You need either a preapproval letter from his lender or his agreement to be prequalified by a lender you suggest.

Second, you'll need him to sign a buyer's representation agreement that limits his commitment to you to only the homes you show him.

When he balks, and he surely will, it's time to rattle his confidence.

Ask him, "If I understand you correctly, you want me to do the same job I would normally do for you, but without a prequalification letter and with more competition from other agents, that's like telling you I'll do as well with my hands tied behind my back. Is that what you really want?"

As he looks more confused, go in for the kill. "If you hired me exclusively to work for you, do you have any reason to believe that I wouldn't give you 100 percent?"

When the buyer answers sheepishly, no, respond with this, "Why would you think I would work harder for you if you're making it harder for me to get the sale?"

You have his attention now. Don't lose confidence. Keep going.

"You want a house and I want to make a sale, so we both want something out of this relationship, but I believe that business relationships don't work unless they are also partnerships. We both win and neither of us loses. I want you to trust me and I want to trust you.

"So, we both know that other agents can do the same thing for you that I can do. What can I do that would make you feel better about working with me? What can I do to earn your trust?"

That's make it or break it time. If you don't get the answer you want, get out of there. If you do, you might just have a chance to get to closing.

Published: July 23, 2004

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Blanche is a renowned author of five real estate books. Her newest, Bubbles, Booms and Busts: Make Money In Any Real Estate Market, McGraw-Hill, was rave-reviewed by The New York Times. She was also selected from hundreds of real estate experts to contribute to Donald Trump's book, Trump: The Best Real Estate Advice I Ever Received: 100 Top Experts Share Their Strategies, Rutledge Hill Press, and is featured on page 68. Order Now Review - Honors In 2006, Blanche was selected among scores of candidates to author two consumer real estate guidebooks for the National Association of Realtors: The NAR Guide to Home Buying, and The NAR Guide to Home Selling, Wiley & Sons. She is currently planning two new books for the NAR and its members.       Known for her keen insight into real estate industry issues and for her ability to make complex subjects easy to understand, Blanche is a sought-after keynote and continuing education speaker. Real estate organizations from MLSs, to brokerages, to franchisors, to associations hire her to provide up-to-the-minute analysis of real estate industry news and advice on how to improve revenues. Her passionate delivery, peppered with stinging wit, is a huge hit with audiences and fans. Don Klein, CEO Greater Nashville Association of Realtors, Blanche Evans, Richard Courtney, president 2007, GRAR "The GNAR membership meeting last week featured Blanche Evans as the keynote speaker. Her comments and insights resonated extremely well with those in attendance and we have had many requests for copies of her PowerPoint Presentation. She was a terrific part of the membership meeting and convention program!" - Don Klein, CEO Greater Nashville Association of Realtors Coverage from WSMV, Nashville - 8-14-2007 That Interview Guy - Get Inside The Head Of Today's Generation 2007 AE Institute Session - To purchase 2006 AE Institute Session - Parts 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 HouseValues Mastermind call - Parts 1 2 Blanche's fireside chat with Jeremy Conaway, HAR - Click here. For more articles by Blanche, click here.