Science and technology doubled the sum of human knowledge by 1900. By 1950, it had doubled it again. By the 1980s, knowledge was doubling every five to eight years, today it's doubling every two to four. Technology continues to speed up the world, pushing us ever faster just to keep from falling further behind. Our culture reflects this pressure, by demanding that we constantly do more, get more, be more.

Sociologists, psychologists, and all sorts of other 'ologists' are documenting the costs to our personal lives as well. One of the costs being that we feel like we cannot think, before we act. We fly through our lives on auto-pilot, telling ourselves we don't have the luxury of thinking first, while hoping we don't miss something important -- a fact too often reflected in a loss of meaningful connection with other people. How do you turn off the auto-pilot?

One way to turn the auto-pilot off and reconnect with yourself and those around you, is to simply stop occasionally and ask, "Who am I right now?" It's a simple question that can have a profound impact. Asking this question at the right time can transform an acquaintance into a friend, an argument into an agreement, or a bad day into a good one.

For Realtors®, asking the question at the right time can transform a prospect into a client, a client into a closing, or a job into a career.

You have a long list of roles -- Realtor®, spouse, parent, co-worker, etc. These are among the first things that come to mind when you ask yourself who you are, but how else would you describe yourself? Take a closer look. Are you grumpy? Lighthearted? Distracted? Compulsive? Loving? Angry? Frightened? Serene? It's these more immediate, and personal adjectives that have the most profound impact.

These adjectives round out who you are, they're also the things you can change, or improve right now! How? By deciding to, right now. Do you want to be a Busy, or Grumpy Realtor? How you respond, will grant insight into how you come across to others.

As a personal and business coach, I've used this technique successfully with clients. Here's one way to make it work. First, in the morning take a few moments to reflect on what kind of mood or personal attitude you'd like to create for yourself for the day. Maybe the day before was really tense, so you decide you want to be calm today. Maybe you were grumpy, and want to be fun today. Whatever mood, whatever tone you'd like to have for the day, just declare that it's who you will be for the day.

You're probably thinking, "That's great, but how do you actually create a day that allows you to be calm, or fun, or whatever for the entire day?" The answer is to use the day's normal distractions or actions as reminders, as keys to continually turn off the auto-pilot and purposefully, be who you decide you want to be.

It works particularly well if you select one thing to use as a reminder for the day. For instance, when the phone rings, don't answer it on the first ring. Instead, ask yourself, "Who do I want to be when I answer?" then choose to be that person. While you're out at lunch, or coming back ask yourself, who you want to be and choose. As you're walking to the lobby to greet a client, ask and decide. As you're standing impatiently in line for a latté, ask yourself, "Who do I want to be?" -- then be who you choose.

The power and potential lies in asking the question, and declaring who you want to be. If you don't think it will work, try it in reverse. Decide you want to be grumpy or in a rotten mood, you'll get there in a hurry. You can just as easily turn it around and be "Patient Parent," "Resourceful Realtor," or "Fun-loving Friend."

When the phone rings, don't answer immediately. When you're shaking a hand, don't be the first to open your mouth. When you pull in the drive and turn off your car, don't get out right away. If you use moments like these to ask, "Who do I want to be right now?" you may just discover an answer that can transform whatever is about to happen, into something positive and powerful.

Published: March 2, 2005

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John Hagerman has a wide range of business experience, but it all fits together around one common theme -- energizing people to fulfill their highest potential. All of his work, whether as a speaker, writer, manager, business owner, coach, non-profit activist, or Realtor®, has focused on helping those around him unleash Natural Energy to better serve their clients, customers, constituents, and themselves. Years of experience as a business manager and owner taught John the value of raising up his employees and helping them learn how to reach beyond what they thought possible. He coached and mentored them in how to build connections with customers and how to release the Natural Energy of those relationships. His employees benefited by increasing their customer relationship skills, and his customers benefited by discovering sales people who were authentic in their desire to make sure they got the solution that served them best…and who were skilled at giving the customer a great experience in the process.