Having been in sales my entire adult life, one of the things I've noticed most salespeople have in common is a belief in their gift for conversation. Whether we're on a listing appointment touting our skills or company, telling a buyer about all the features and benefits of a hidden gem we've discovered, or chatting about all the wonderful attributes of a neighborhood as we give relocation buyers a tour of potential homes, we love to talk.

We've got rapport-building to do, information to provide, and services to tout, and all of it, we believe, depends on our ability to talk. Unfortunately, too many sales people are skilled at talking, but not at the other side of conversation, listening, and in the sales game, silence is golden.

Jovial conversation is usually a good thing when you're in a car with a client, but let the conversation lag and things start feeling uncomfortable. A natural tendency is to jump in and say something, anything, to fill the empty space. We start jabbering because most of us fear that silence. As its duration begins to grow, we become convinced that the client is getting as uncomfortable as we are. We start telling ourselves that if we don't say something, we'll lose the client. If the silence gets any longer or louder, we believe the client is likely to jump from the car or run out of the office screaming, and if they don't, we will!

The old adage of "listen twice as much as you talk" became an adage for a reason, especially when it comes to sales. Shut up long enough to let your clients dominate the conversation, and they'll think you're a brilliant conversationalist. Ask a question and give the client free reign to answer it, and they'll be amazed at your wisdom.

For decades, research projects from all around the world have shown that the less we talk, and the more we allow the other person to talk, the better the other person thinks we are at talking and relating to them. Isn't that something, the more you talk, the less impressed your client is with you, and the more you remain quiet and listen, the more you ask questions or give simple prompts then allow your client to answer at leisure, the more impressed your clients become. Silence really is golden.

Your job as a Realtor is to make sure you fully understand the needs of your clients. The more I let my clients speak, the more I ask questions and give them space to answer, the more likely they are to reveal the root of an issue, the basis for an objection, or even their readiness to say yes! I've discovered that the wisdom that is most likely to be well received by my clients comes not from me, but from them.

When you insist on filling the silence with the sound of your own voice, you may just be stifling the thought that can transform a prospect into a client, or a client into a buyer or seller.

The next time you find silence filling the space between you and your client, try counting to ten before jumping in. Give your client that space. Wait for them patiently to speak, to answer your question or to respond to your observation. If you do, you might discover that when it comes to transforming lives, and building business relationships, there is pure gold in the silence.

Published: April 12, 2005

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