Do you second-guess yourself when you get an offer that it won't be accepted? Sometimes you're right and sometimes you're wrong. Here are some ways you can avoid adding to the seller's negative reaction.

Brian was a friend of mine, he had been in the real estate business for about a year, when like all of us, he hit a bumpy patch in the road. During this rough time, he received an offer on one of his listings, which normally would have been great news, but Brian's attitude had hit rock bottom, so he brought the offer into my office to let me take a look.

"I don't think its going to fly," he said, handing me the offer.

I carefully reviewed the offer. The offering price was $92,000, with financing, and a pest and dry rot report contingency, the closing was set for sixty days out. It actually looked like a pretty clean offer to me.

"What wrong with it?" I asked.

"She won't accept it; she's adamant about getting her full price," Brain said, even more depressed.

I just had to ask -- "What is the listing price?"

"$95,000." He said it quietly because I think he knew what my reaction was going to be, in fact I think that's why he came into my office to begin with, because he knew deep down that the offer was a good offer based on the market conditions at the time.

Brian was suffering from a common ailment among real estate professionals, something that I call failure anticipation. Brian was expecting failure, and with this expectation he was no doubt going to get it.

With my office door shut I told him as much, and I also agreed to accompany him on the appointment. He was relieved that I would be presenting the offer.

When we arrived, the seller, a widower named Shirley, sat us down in her small kitchen at a round table with a clock centered in the middle. We talked about her property -- a small mini-ranch which had become too much to handle after her husbands death; we also discussed the marketing on the property. Finally we moved on to the presentation of the offer which I handled.

After my presentation of the offer Shirley turned to me and asked: "Jim, do you think it's a good offer?"

If I hadn't believed it was the best offer for her I would have told her as much, but in all honesty, it was the best offer she was probably going to be getting on the home. So I told her my opinion after which she put her head face down on the table. She was obviously thinking over the offer.

It was at this point Brian and I realized the clock in the middle of the table had a second hand, a second hand that actually made a sound when it ticked. The seconds ticked by agonizingly slowly. In my peripheral vision I could see Brian beginning to rock back and forth in his chair, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He was going to blow it and say something like...

"We could counter..."

Agents often have this self defeating need to fill the vacuum of silence after a question has been asked. Brian was falling into this novice trap. I tapped him under the table and he stopped rocking. Eventually after about 90 seconds, (an eternity with a ticking clock) Shirley looked up smiled and said that she was going to accept the offer. She closed 60 days later.

The Four Key Points to this Story:

1. Remove Failure Anticipation --

   Set aside your personal problems and measure the offer on its own merits. Often we can paint our sellers into a situation where they would have normally accepted an offer but feel forced to reject the proposal based on the agent's attitude. Many would call this loosing face.

   Everyone has a hard time of loosing face in front of others. If an agent brings their own baggage to an offer presentation, a seller may feel obligated to reject an offer they would have otherwise accepted.

   Regardless of our personal opinions, offers should be presented objectively, and sellers should be given the opportunity to make their own decisions. Our jobs during a presentation are to point out the benefits and downsides, and then allow the sellers to make their measured decisions.

2. Get Help --

   Hey, on some days we all need help. If you feel as though you may blow a presentation because of your attitude, maybe it's time to call in reinforcements. Ask your Broker to step in, or have a good friend in your office go with you on the presentation.

   In many cases you will discover that they can bring balance back to a presentation and offer a calming voice to the doubts you may have about the offer itself. They can also back you when questions and concerns arise during the presentation.

3. Give Your Qualified Advice --

   When the seller asks for your opinion is it OK to give it?

   Absolutely! Just make sure that your answer is qualified as your opinion and not as fact. In addition, remember not to frame your response in such a way as to put your sellers into a situation of loosing face should they not heed your advice. How? Let's take a look:

   Seller: What do you think of this offering price?

   Agent: In my opinion, based on the market I think it is on the low side, but you need to ask yourself are you willing to wait another 90 days for your next offer, if we counter or reject this one and the buyers walk, we may have to wait again for our next offer. What do you think?

4. The Secret Power of Silence --

   When you ask a question you must wait for an answer. Don't jump back in and answer your own question. Many agents have a very bad habit of answering their own questions. For instance:

   Agent: What do you think of the price?

   (One heartbeat, two heartbeats...)

   Agent: Because we could counter... or reject, or...

   We must allow the client time to consider the question, formulate a response, possibly confer with their partners and then deliver the answer back to us. That may take a minute or two. It generally doesn't happen in a half second or less.

The good news is that Shirley did accept the offer, and it was the best thing for her. She moved into the city and a property she could easily manage, she sold her home for top dollar, and she was able to purchase another home for cash.

Published: May 16, 2005

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Jim Remley is a speaker, author, and consultant. He is also an active real estate broker in Southern Oregon where he owns a network of six offices. Jim won the Rookie Instructor of the Year award in 2001 from Realty-U, the largest network of real estate educators in the nation. He was the winner of the 2002 Pacesetter Award, and nominated for the Real Estate Instructor of the Year Award during the first quarter of 2003. To learn more about Jim, please visit ProPerformer.com or e-mail him at .