Asking people for referrals seems like a simple, easy thing for agents to do. But if this is the case why do so many agents fail to do so? Part of the reason may be they simply forget to ask for referrals, or they may feel discomfort in asking people for referrals.

If you're going ask for referrals, it make sense to ask for them when people are the most likely to give them.

Here are two ideal situations where you may comfortably ask for referrals:

• Immediately after you've just closed a transaction with your client

In this situation, the warm fuzzy feeling that everyone is experiencing sets the tone for maximizing your probability for obtaining referrals. It's sometimes as if the angels can be heard playing their harps far away in the distance. Any difficulties along the way in closing the transaction are often forgotten, as well as most if not all of the personal differences you may have experienced with the client. Everyone feels more peaceful, relaxed, and happy at this exact moment in time.

So make sure you utilize this moment wisely.

Invite your client to a celebratory lunch or dinner. Then somewhere during the meal, when you feel the moment is right, say something similar to the following:

"I really enjoyed working with you on this transaction. And the truth of the matter is I'd love to work with more people who are just like you. So do you know anyone who may be looking to buy, sell, or lease real estate sometime in the future? I'd love to begin building a relationship with them."

And if you've timed your moment correctly, you have a great chance of obtaining at least one referral from your client in this situation.

• Immediately after a client has backed out of closing a transaction.

In this situation, there may be some feelings of guilt that the client has about having wasted everyone's time. So again, it's all about setting the proper mood at the right moment to have the client be very willing to mention one or more referrals to you.

If you can take the client out to lunch or dinner, this would be a great way to set the tone for the moment. If not, being able to talk with them face-to-face in a quiet setting will be very helpful also. Once you've done this, you may want to say something like the following to them:

"I understand this transaction wasn't right for you, and that's okay. What's more important is that we do what's truly in your best interest here. But I would like to ask one favor of you. Is there someone you know who I can begin building a relationship with, so that when they're ready to do their next real estate transaction, I can be the agent who represents them?"

Again, if you've timed your moment correctly and set the right tone, your client is likely to feel that giving you a referral is something they definitely want to do.

Published: June 22, 2005

Use of this article without permission is a violation of federal copyright laws.

Jim Gillespie, Ph.D., is America's Premier Real Estate Coach℠. He has over 20 years of experience in real estate sales and is a past president of three different real estate companies. His FREE real estate E-newsletter with tips and creative ideas to help agents make more money is now read by over 35,000 agents nationwide. You can subscribe to his FREE E-newsletter by visiting RealEstateSalesCoach.com or contact him at Jim@RealEstateSalesCoach.com.