My daughter, Kolleen Roberts, is more to me than my daughter.

Kolleen is part of my fondest memories, my most deeply felt emotions, my most rewarding experiences. Kolleen is all the special people she brought into our home, along with their memories, their emotions, their laughter, and the secrets she shared with them and they with her.

On Memorial Day of 2006, Kolleen died doing what she loved best -- jet skiing with friends and family near our summer cottage on Lake St. Clair. She was 18 years old. Like all families who experience a sudden loss of a loved one at such a young age, we shed our tears and leaned on family members and friends for support. Although we could appreciate the precious gift of Kolleen's love and spirit for 18 years, we truly felt cheated out of a life that held so much promise.

When we lost Kolleen, it felt as though someone had turned off the lights in the auditorium of our lives. The hustle and bustle fell silent, hopeful expectations dimmed, and we all felt a little smaller, as if a lead blanket had been laid upon us.

Then, something amazing began to happen, something none of us had expected. Soon after Kolleen's death, we set up a blog in her memory, KolleenRoberts.com, where friends, family, and acquaintances could post tributes and stories and photos of Kolleen on the Internet.

On the first day, visitors posted over 100 tributes. By the second day, we saw more than 400 postings. And the blog continues to grow with more than 1,100 postings at last count. Friends and family members visited us in person to share their memories and stories. Flowers, cards, and letters poured in. People called us from all over the country. We met people for the first time who knew Kolleen and related stories we had never heard and some stories that Kolleen probably never would have told us. We experienced Kolleen in a way that we never could have without this tragic accident.

On May 29 of 2006, Kolleen's body was no longer living, but her spirit refused to die. It lives in the hearts and souls and stories and laughter of her friends and family. It lives in the selfless good deeds she performed. It lives in the tributes and stories and photos posted on her blog. It lives in the hearts and minds of her friends, classmates, and teammates. It lives in the positive role model she continues to be to her brother, Kyle, and her sister, Kaleigh. And it will always live and expand in the heart and soul of my wife, Kathleen, and me.

The two words "my daughter" have a special significance to every father. Those two words evoke a combination of the deepest love, overwhelming pride, maddening frustration, mild disappointment, and awe-inspiring joy. But Kolleen's death made me realize that Kolleen is much more than "my daughter" and that the collective memories and spirit she inspired during her short life were more than enough to transcend her passing.

I always thought of death as the ultimate conqueror, but Kolleen's life and the many people who refuse to let her spirit be swept away continue to prove that death is no match for Kolleen's zest for life and the immeasurable love and spirit she inspired in the many lives she touched.

Editor's note: We extend our deepest sympathies to Ralph and his family. When a tragedy like this occurs in the Realtor family, it affects each of us.

Published: July 19, 2006

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Ralph R. Roberts, CRS, GRI is an award-winning and internationally recognized real estate agent, author, coach, and speaker. Throughout his career, Ralph has proven his commitment to helping other real estate and sales professionals build upon their past and present success, grow and expand their businesses, and provide a rich and rewarding future for themselves, their customers, their employees, and their families. As president and CEO of Ralph Roberts Realty, Ralph has personally helped thousands of consumers realize their dream of homeownership. While selling over 10,000 homes (and buying and selling over 3,000 investment properties) throughout his 30-year career, Ralph has made the time to mentor and coach hundreds of professionals in real estate, sales, and a host of other fields. Ralph is a recognized authority on Real Estate and Mortgage Fraud; Residential Real Estate; Personal Salesmanship; Sales Force and Office Management, Motivation, Design, and Team Building; and Foreclosure Self-Defense and Loan Modification, fields in which he has demonstrated his commitment to preserving the American Dream of Homeownership. Ralph's numerous websites, blogs, seminars, and speaking engagements engage, entertain, and educate both consumers and professionals. Ralph is also an accomplished author with several successful titles to his credit, including: Power Teams: The Complete Guide to Building and Managing a Winning Real Estate Agent Team Financing Real Estate Investments For Dummies (John Wiley & Sons) Mortgage Myths: 77 Secrets That Will Save You Thousands on Home Financing (John Wiley & Sons) Foreclosure Self-Defense For Dummies (John Wiley & Sons) Protect Yourself from Real Estate and Mortgage Fraud: Preserving the American Dream of Homeownership (Kaplan) Foreclosure Investing For Dummies (John Wiley & Sons) Foreclosure Myths: 77 Secrets to Saving Thousands on Distressed Properties (John Wiley & Sons) Advanced Selling For Dummies (John Wiley & Sons) Flipping Houses For Dummies 52 Weeks of Sales Success (John Wiley & Sons) Walk Like a Giant, Sell Like a Madman (John Wiley & Sons) Cross-Cultural Selling For Dummies (John Wiley & Sons) To learn more about Ralph, visit AboutRalph.com, check out his daily insights on real estate and mortgage fraud prevention at FlippingFrenzy.com, or visit his latest blog dedicated to helping distressed homeowners fight foreclosure, KeepMyHouse.com. You can reach Ralph at or by calling (586) 751-0000.