In today's competitive markets, your sellers and buyers need your superb negotiating skills. NAR found consumers rated negotiation skills one of the top 5 reasons to choose an agent. Here are my top 10 strategies for success with your negotiations:

Prepare: Research what is important to the other party. If you know the other person's needs and objectives, you are able to offer some ways that will result in a win/win. Think through your own options and determine your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA).

Ask Lots of Questions: A good negotiator begins by making sure their assumptions about the needs of the other party are accurate. By asking questions, you often will uncover information that you were unaware of. Use questions like: "How Can this work?" "What would be fair?" "In your opinion ... ?"

Listen: Everything the other party says is an opportunity to come closer together. Don't move too quickly to the solution. There is power in silence. After you ask a question, be quiet and wait. Be patient. Usually the other party will fill the gap and you may get additional information. He who speaks first loses.

Reflect Back: We often assume we know what the other party meant. By reflecting back, we verify the words meant the same to them as to us. A good way to ask is to begin with: "So I can better understand your position ... ."

No Ultimatums: Don't offend or threaten. If you put them in a defensive position, they are likely to dig in their heels and become fixated on their position. Instead, calm their fears and search for win/win outcomes.

Answering Skill: We've already determined that silence gets concessions. A good response to any question is: "Why do you ask?" Manage the information you answer with to minimize tipping your hand.

Position Yourself: Never tell the other party your real bottom line. Ask for more than you need. Give yourself wiggle room and then you can concede, make them feel they have gained and still achieve your objective. Then, they can have the last word, which also makes them feel good.

When you concede, ask for something in return: This is often overlooked as an opportunity to gain. Most people do want to be fair and when you concede, it puts them in a friendlier mental state. Ask for something that will benefit your needs.

Have time on your side: This is tough. Remember 80 percent of concessions are made in 20 percent of the time. Never tell the other party your true deadline. Have patience when possible so they can begin to feel the stress as the deadline approaches. At that point, they are more likely to make concessions.

Be interest based versus positional: Always remember it is about the situation not the people. And, at the end of the day, you are not the one that is homeless. So, look for the win/win. Bring both sides together by talking about their shared commitment. After all, the buyer wants to move in and the seller wants to move on. If you can keep them looking to that commitment, rather than the details, often creativity will prevail and everyone can get what they want!

As many markets soften, these skills will become even more important. On all of your presentations, talk with your clients about this. It will differentiate you from most other agents and give you an advantage.

Published: July 25, 2006

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Joeann Fossland ePRO, GRI, MCC, PMN, SRS is a dynamic, international speaker and business coach. She personally coaches a small number of extraordinary agents who want to leverage their production results and have a life they love! She was recognized as one of the 25 Most Influential Women in Real Estate in 2008 by Stephan Swanapoel. Subscribe to her free Tuesday Tips, attend Fossland's Forums, free monthly tele-seminars, and find out about classes delivered by email and personal coaching by visiting Joeann.com or email her at . You can also connect at Facebook and Twitter.