If you're like most agents, you go into listing and buyer's presentation well prepared with market info and at least some ideas on what you think your potential client needs.

Do you have a set script or dialogue in mind? Are you married to a specific outcome and go into the presentation intent on getting that outcome? Do you have a routine you use to fill the silent spaces that inevitably occur during any presentation?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are probably missing out on a great opportunity to energize your business, and yourself.

I know it sounds strange to say that preparation may actually hurt you, but it can, especially if your preparation is too focused on outcomes, routines, and scripts. When you go into a presentation, or almost any human interaction, knowing exactly what you want to say and do, and what outcome you want, you may be closing yourself off to things that could really connect you with your clients in ways that can build tremendous customer loyalty, and long-term business growth.

Goals and scripts can be useful tools, but when they close you off to what is in the environment around your client, they blind you to possibilities and hurt your business. We live in a "messy" world, a world filled with noise, piles of books and papers, walls filled with pictures and awards, a tangle of technology, and other general chaos. It is part of the human condition and most of us are so used to it that we don't even see the "mess" any more. If you want to really connect, if you want to build powerful, energy filled relationships, next time you're with a client, take time to notice the "mess" and the possibilities it contains.

I want to give you an example. It may seem like it's out of left field, but be patient; you'll see how it pertains to you. A few years ago, while I was visiting the Colorado Renaissance Festival, I saw a street performer drawing a circle in the dirt with a long staff. It was an empty circle, except for the trash can that occupied a small piece of the edge. The performer sat in the middle of the circle and waited for something to happen. Curious about what he was up to, I lurked in the shade of a tree not far away.

After a couple of minutes the performer started looking around for something to do. He tried to make a "dirt castle," but the dirt was too dry and loose to do anything with. He picked up a few small stones and tossed them at patrons trying to get their attention, but nobody seemed to notice him. Then his gaze fell on the trash bin. He got up and peered inside the bin, only to discover it was empty -- nothing to play with there. He tilted the bin, spotted a little stack of unused trash bags under it, and got terribly excited. He picked up a bag, shook it open, and then filled it with air. Twisting it closed he violently shook it in the air, making a sound that was eerily reminiscent of a big helicopter. The noise got people's attention, and they started to gather round.

It didn't take long for the noise to bore him, so he looked for something else to do with the bag. As he swung it around one last time, his hand grazed a large horn hanging from his belt -- a kind of old auto horn with a big bulb you squeezed to make noise. He removed the horn, pulled off the bulb, and stuck the bulb-less end of the horn into the air-filled trash bag. The next thing I knew he was squeezing the bag and forcing the air through the horn to create the sound of an atonal bagpipe. As he marched around the circle, mimicking a parading piper, the noise filled the small meadow we were in. It also attracted a crowd of a couple of hundred people to see what this odd performer would do next. I could describe his whole performance, but it's his bagpipe routine that stuck with me, and what provided a good lesson in my own business.

That performer drew a circle to do his act in that seemed to be totally empty, yet he discovered something that drew an enthusiastic audience, and filled his hat at the end of the show, by simply being open to the possibilities that lay in his environment. He was open to the "mess" around him and mined it to great effect. All he did was play with an empty trash bag -- and delight an audience.

Today, whenever I go into a presentation, I take time to take in the "mess" I find there before I launch into my presentation. An open book on a table is an opportunity to discover something that interests my client. Photos on a bookshelf might tell me about his family or about an adventure she went on -- both things they're likely to enjoy talking about. Awards and diplomas provide obvious fodder for conversation. Pouring rain, blowing snow, or bright sunshine out the window give me another chance to connect. Even a garbage can overflowing with wadded paper can tell me about frustration with a project. Each of these items is part of the "mess" that can be mined to create an authentic connection with my client, and authentic connections can transform a purely business transaction into a human relationship. Building strong relationships is probably the single most important factor in building a strong business. Oh, and there's another benefit -- connecting on a personal level releases a tremendous amount of Natural Energy in both of us. This energy lifts both of us and makes the interaction memorable.

This isn't a prescription for using stuff in my client's environment to manipulate him/her into doing what I want. If my interest is not authentic, potential clients can sense it immediately, and, in the process, lose interest in working with me. Consequently, my most important preparation involves preparing myself to be open to discovering new things about my client, to "mining the mess" in ways that create opportunities to build those important relationships.

Just like that performer with the trash bag bagpipe, I often find some small, seemingly innocuous bit of "mess" that genuinely intrigues or interests me. When I ask about it, when I explore that one bit of "mess," clients often open up and soon we're talking as friends. I don't know about you, but I've discovered that friends are more trusting, more likely to come back to me again, and more likely to refer others to me. I also find that doing business with friends helps keep me more focused and energized -- two factors I find are requirements to feeling satisfied with my work.

So the next time you walk into a prospect or client's home, put the scripts, routines, and outcomes on a back burner and take a time to "mine the mess." You might just discover something that builds a long-term relationship, and your business.

Published: February 1, 2007

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