I love SOI*. It's my thing; it's my passion. I think every self-employed salesperson oughta include a little SOI in their arsenal. Or a lot. During my real estate days, my business was nearly 100 percent SOI with a few random floor calls, walk-ins and web leads tossed in as gravy.

But if you're gunna SOI, you better do it right! Not everyone does. In fact, most don't. Not because they're stupid or incompetent or insensitive, not at all! Rather, because most salespeople have never been shown the right way to do it. When done right, an SOI business model actually changes the way the salesperson views his business ... and his world.

Most experienced real estate salespeople claim to embrace an SOI philosophy. They support the idea of generating business and referrals from the people they know. But the reality is that the vast majority of real estate agents fail miserably in their SOI efforts. Even worse, they manage to alienate many of their friends and family members along the way!

And then they proclaim that "SOI is a lousy way to run a business!"

Well, they're wrong. And, they're right. They're wrong that an SOI strategy is a poor business model, but they're right that it was a lousy business model for them. Because they didn't understand how to do it right.

If you're gunna SOI, you better do it right. If you're gunna do it wrong, don't do it at all. The personal relationships in your life are far too important to risk!

Here are twenty ways to blow it with your SOI:

1. Ask a friend to lunch and give her your sales pitch (every time)

2. Call your friends on the first Monday of every month and ask if they have any referrals for you.

3. If they don't, ask them why not.

4. Angrily (or tearfully) confront your friends and family if they use another real estate agent

5. Take on business you aren't qualified to handle

6. Blow off your friend's housewarming party, but expect her to be loyal to you

7. Attend your friend's housewarming party and sales-pitch everyone to death

8. Tell everyone you know how lousy the real estate market is

9. Tell everyone you know how overwhelmed you are

10. Tell everyone you know how depressed you are about your real estate business

11. Send out an announcement letter with typo's and misspellings

12. Send your friends frequent "forward this on for good luck or else" mass emails

13. Pepper your language with four-letter words

14. Borrow money or books or tools or whatever and don't return them in a timely manner

15. Don't return social phone calls or RSVP's

16. Try to hijack referral fees from your family's pre-existing real estate relationships

17. Ignore your SOI in favor of mass-advertising projects (then get your feelings hurt when they use someone else)

18. Contact your friends only when you're looking for business

19. Offer bribes to your friends for referrals

20. Sell real estate "on the side"

*An "SOI" (sphere of influence) business strategy means to generate business and referrals from the people who know you.

Published: January 23, 2008

Use of this article without permission is a violation of federal copyright laws.

Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn was a top producing real estate broker in Denver, Colorado before writing her first book in 2007. Since then, she has written several more books about the business of selling real estate including her flagship book: Sell with Soul: Creating an Extraordinary Career in Real Estate without Losing Your Friends, Your Principles or Your Self-Respect, the sequel, If You're Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate, You're Not Doing it Right and her latest, to be released in Spring 2011, Prospect with Soul for Real Estate Agents. Jennifer believes that the secret of success for real estate agents is not in aggressive marketing techniques or hard-core sales pitches, but rather in being competent in one's craft. Competence begets Confidence. And in today's world of increasingly suspicious and ad-weary consumers, having an air of self-assurance and enthusiasm will be far more effective than a slick sales campaign. Jennifer writes and speaks with this philosophy in mind. She preaches that salespeople should follow the Golden Rule in their day-to-day practice of business - treating clients and prospects respectfully, as the salesperson him or herself would like to be treated. Being competent, reliable and fair, and motivated by a true desire to earn a paycheck, not just show up at closing with hand outstretched. She is a regular contributor to several real estate newsletters and magazines, a member of the RE/MAX Hall of Fame and one of the industry's most popular bloggers. You can learn more about Jennifer's "soulful" philosophies at www.SellWithSoul.com. Subscribe Below to Enroll in the Daily Seduction Newsletter Mini-Clinic - Tips and Strategies to Generate Business and Referrals From Your Sphere of Influence! Your Full Name Your Email Address