“Rely on my Sphere of Influence? I don't know anyone who wants to buy or a sell a home right now!”

Although the concept of generating business from the people you know (your sphere of influence or SOI) is nothing new, many agents have objections to the concept, based on some common misperceptions of how an effective SOI business model should work.

Do any of these objections sound familiar to you?

"I don't know anyone who wants to buy or sell right now and even if I did, how can I base my entire business on them?"

In my first year, I sold 25 houses, all to my SOI. Of those 25, all but three were to people I didn't know the day I got my real estate license. They were people I met as a result of the personal relationships in my life. Some were referred directly to me by my SOI; others I met at weddings, parties, etc.; yet others were service providers in my life who weren't my friends, but knew I had a real estate license.

The people we know are the gatekeepers to everyone else they know. Impress those we know … and the floodgates shall open.

"I refuse to be one of those annoying real estate agents that the family avoids at parties."

So don't be! Contrary to popular belief, an effective SOI strategy is not about bothering your friends for their business. Sure, that's a common tactic, and many real estate agents give up on their SOI because they suspect their friends are sick of hearing from them -- and they're probably right. Just be a genuinely nice person with a good head on his or her shoulders ... who happens to sell real estate for a living.

"I don't believe in mixing business with pleasure. If the deal goes sour, I could lose the friendship."

Could happen. Probably won't, if you take great care of your business. Yes, things go wrong, but if you can fix the problems professionally and competently, you'll probably win even MORE brownie points from your friend than if the deal went 100 percent smoothly. Anyway, if you do a great job for someone who knows you and cares about you, you'll get GREAT PR in your social circle for it! I'll take that risk because I have faith in myself.

One caveat here: DON'T take SOI business that you aren't confident you can handle. For example, if your buddy wants to buy a strip mall, and you're a residential agent, REFER IT. I don't believe we should "practice" on anyone, but especially not on our SOI.

"I don't want my family and friends to feel obligated to use me if they don't want to."

"Obligation" is a dirty word in our business. Never ever, ever think that someone is obligated to use you and don't get hurt if they use someone else. It's probably not personal (people have lives outside of our real estate business), and if it IS personal, take the opportunity to figure out why. Always give your SOI the benefit of the doubt if they don't use you -- for them, it was the right decision. Respect that.

If, in your heart, you feel that your SOI is obligated to use your services, they'll feel it and resist. Conversely, if you respect their right to "choose," they also feel that and will probably beat down your door!

Yes, you CAN rely on your SOI!

Published: February 27, 2008

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Jennifer Allan is a former top producing real estate broker, a published author, a speaker and a trainer. She has written five books a bout the business of selling real estate, including her flagship book: Sell with Soul: Creating an Extraordinary Career in Real Estate without Losing Your Friends, Your Principles or Your Self-Respect. Her new book entitled "If You’re Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate, You're Not Doing it Right!" will be released in early 2010. Jennifer believes that the secret of success for real estate agents is not in aggressive marketing techniques or hard-core sales pitches, but rather in being competent in one's craft. Competence begets Confidence. And in today's world of increasingly suspicious and ad-weary consumers, having an air of self-assurance and enthusiasm will be far more effective than a slick sales campaign. Jennifer writes and speaks with this philosophy in mind. She preaches that salespeople should follow the Golden Rule in their day-to-day practice of business - treating clients and prospects respectfully, as the salesperson him or herself would like to be treated. Being competent, reliable and fair, and motivated by a true desire to earn a paycheck, not just show up at closing with hand outstretched. She is a regular contributor to several real estate newsletters and magazines, a member of the RE/MAX Hall of Fame and one of the industry's most popular bloggers. You can learn more about Jennifer's "soulful" philosophies at www.SellWithSoul.com. Subscribe to Jennifer Allan's Newsletter for SOI'ers Tips & Strategies for Generating Business from Your Sphere of Influence Your Email Address: Your Name: