To some degree, reciprocity has control over us all. You can probably think of times you've felt obligated or compelled to do things for others because they did something for you. This is the result of conditioning from early childhood and is hard to override.

In Robert Cialdini's book, Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion he relates a story of a university professor who tried a little experiment. He sent Christmas cards to perfect strangers. Although he expected some reaction, the response he received was surprising. Holiday cards addressed to him came back from people who he had never met nor heard of him. The great majority of those who returned a card never inquired into his identity. They received his holiday card and automatically sent one in return. You may have done the same thing; I know my wife and I have.

While small in scope, this study demonstrates the action of one the most potent weapons of persuasion, the law of reciprocation. The law says we will try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us. By virtue of the law of reciprocity we feel obligated to repay favors and gifts. Look for opportunities

Employing the law of reciprocity in home selling pays big dividends because most salespeople do not use it. Let's examine a few things you can do today:

• Have refreshments (cokes, water, cookies, candy) available for your customers to enjoy the time they spend with you.

• Take your prospects to lunch or have movie tickets available so your prospect can relax and take a breather.

• Have coloring books and crayons available for your customer's children. Let the children take the books and crayons home. Ask the children to bring back their drawings so you can display them for other prospects to see.

• As prospects leave give them a small token of appreciation. One salesperson I know purchased microwave popcorn and attached the message "Thanks for Popping In" and mailed it out immediately so that it would arrive the next day.

• Call each prospect and leave a short voice mail message thanking him or her for spending their valuable time with you. This phone call should be placed immediately.

• Send bouquet of flowers to a buyer who signed a contract or to a co-operative Realtor who help you make a sale. Follow up the flowers with a phone call asking for a referral.

• Take a Realtor friend to lunch or hold an open house with food. Follow up luncheon with a referral request.

When you employ the law of reciprocity you're treating your prospect as a special person. Every time you do something extra, you are building a greater sense of obligation.

Begin to look for opportunities to use the law of reciprocity. You'll be amazed at how effective this law can be. Remember, in order to receive, you first must give. Give a lot, get a lot. Give a little, get a little.

Published: August 4, 2008

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