For previous installments of this series, please click here.

Which issues of a real estate transaction (i.e. "Monkeys") do YOU control, which ones do your client control, and which ones do neither of you has any say over? The point in spelling it all out isn't to give anyone permission to be rude to a buyer or seller when he tries to hand off his Monkey; no, rather to clarify which Monkeys are appropriate to decline. ("Declining the Monkey" means to refuse to accept responsibility for problems that are not yours to solve.)

Believe it or not, politely declining to take on your clients' monkeys has a lot to do with respect. Respecting your client's intelligence, abilities and willingness to do his part. Acknowledging that your client has a brain and a checkbook, and that he can probably find some free time. A lot of us don't seem to give our clients the benefit of the doubt that they are willing or able to do their part, so we either offer to do it for them or walk away frustrated.

Sure, an upside-down seller will be more than happy to dump his upside-down monkey on you, if you agree to take it. A frustrated buyer would be tickled to let you figure out where that extra 5 percent down is going to come from when the terms of his loan change. But you can gracefully hand that monkey back to the buyer or seller without his even noticing the hand-off!

Let's use the example of the seller who owes $415,000 on a house that might be worth $399,000. To come out whole, he really needs to sell around $430,000. Oh, and he doesn't want to come to the table with money, or short sell the house.

What do you do?

Of course, you can refuse to take the listing, and indeed, that's what you might end up doing. Or you might agree to take the listing at a too-high price, and regret it every day for the next six months. But are those the only two options?

No!

There is another solution to this problem. One that may result in a sellable listing. What is this magic solution?

I don't know. Neither do you.

It's your seller's solution to discover. And if you let him keep his monkey, he may very well come up with the solution on his own. Maybe he'll decide to kiss up to Aunt Lulu and ask her for a short-term loan to cover the spread. Maybe he'll decide a short-sale isn't out of the question. Maybe he'll agree to make the improvements you recommend to give him a better shot at a higher price.

Or maybe he'll come up with something brilliant.

Published: March 1, 2010

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Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn was a top producing real estate broker in Denver, Colorado before writing her first book in 2007. Since then, she has written several more books about the business of selling real estate including her flagship book: Sell with Soul: Creating an Extraordinary Career in Real Estate without Losing Your Friends, Your Principles or Your Self-Respect, the sequel, If You're Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate, You're Not Doing it Right and her latest, to be released in Spring 2011, Prospect with Soul for Real Estate Agents. Jennifer believes that the secret of success for real estate agents is not in aggressive marketing techniques or hard-core sales pitches, but rather in being competent in one's craft. Competence begets Confidence. And in today's world of increasingly suspicious and ad-weary consumers, having an air of self-assurance and enthusiasm will be far more effective than a slick sales campaign. Jennifer writes and speaks with this philosophy in mind. She preaches that salespeople should follow the Golden Rule in their day-to-day practice of business - treating clients and prospects respectfully, as the salesperson him or herself would like to be treated. Being competent, reliable and fair, and motivated by a true desire to earn a paycheck, not just show up at closing with hand outstretched. She is a regular contributor to several real estate newsletters and magazines, a member of the RE/MAX Hall of Fame and one of the industry's most popular bloggers. You can learn more about Jennifer's "soulful" philosophies at www.SellWithSoul.com. Subscribe Below to Enroll in the Daily Seduction Newsletter Mini-Clinic - Tips and Strategies to Generate Business and Referrals From Your Sphere of Influence! Your Full Name Your Email Address