We hear it all the time. Real estate is a relationship business. This means the more people who know you and like you, the more real estate you'll sell.

And it's true. The more people who know you and like you, the more real estate you'll sell.

But is real estate really a relationship business?

Inspired by the Bravo reality series, "Million Dollar Listing," just one of the dozens of real estate reality shows currently gracing the television airwaves, we are spurred to ask just this question.

The young male stars of this show seem to have an unending supply of "dear friends" with dollars to spend on real estate. "After all," says Chad, one of the agents, "Real estate is a relationship business."

If you've ever watched the show with a cynical eye, you might have noticed that these young men tend to give sometimes laughably self-serving advice. Such as their advice to their "dear friends" to make full price offers in a declining market before the house even hits the market. They allow their sellers to dictate the price and terms of their listings, whining all the while that the seller is being unreasonable. They talk their buyers out of even asking for repairs at inspection because the seller has already come down on his price (again, in a recessionary market).

So, what does this have to do with real estate and relationships?

Selling real estate is about knowing how to sell real estate. Let's say that differently. It's about knowing how to manage and facilitate the exchange of real property so that the buyer or seller who hired you is satisfied with the outcome.

Sure, building a real estate business may have everything to do with your relationships, but, as agents, that's not what we do. Is tax preparation a relationship business? Is dentistry a relationship business? Is dog-training a relationship business?

No, we expect our tax preparers to know how to prepare taxes. We hope our dentists know how to fix cavities. We expect a dog-trainer to be a master in dog behavior. That's their business.

Our buyers and sellers have the right to expect that we know our business. This means how to manage and facilitate the exchange of real property, not how to persuade our "dear friends" to provide us with easy paychecks.

Published: May 26, 2010

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Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn was a top producing real estate broker in Denver, Colorado before writing her first book in 2007. Since then, she has written several more books about the business of selling real estate including her flagship book: Sell with Soul: Creating an Extraordinary Career in Real Estate without Losing Your Friends, Your Principles or Your Self-Respect, the sequel, If You're Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate, You're Not Doing it Right and her latest, to be released in Spring 2011, Prospect with Soul for Real Estate Agents. Jennifer believes that the secret of success for real estate agents is not in aggressive marketing techniques or hard-core sales pitches, but rather in being competent in one's craft. Competence begets Confidence. And in today's world of increasingly suspicious and ad-weary consumers, having an air of self-assurance and enthusiasm will be far more effective than a slick sales campaign. Jennifer writes and speaks with this philosophy in mind. She preaches that salespeople should follow the Golden Rule in their day-to-day practice of business - treating clients and prospects respectfully, as the salesperson him or herself would like to be treated. Being competent, reliable and fair, and motivated by a true desire to earn a paycheck, not just show up at closing with hand outstretched. She is a regular contributor to several real estate newsletters and magazines, a member of the RE/MAX Hall of Fame and one of the industry's most popular bloggers. You can learn more about Jennifer's "soulful" philosophies at www.SellWithSoul.com. Subscribe Below to Enroll in the Daily Seduction Newsletter Mini-Clinic - Tips and Strategies to Generate Business and Referrals From Your Sphere of Influence! Your Full Name Your Email Address