Real estate agents agonize over meeting people to add to our sphere of influence (SOI) databases. Should we join a club, volunteer, take a class or attend networking events? Should we attend more parties, events or PTA meetings?

If you want to join these events, then by all means do it. You don’t have to force yourself, however, to do things you’d rather not. Adding to your sphere might be as simple as changing the way you interact with the world. That's because your future clients are out there in that world looking for someone just like you.

A few months ago, I had a conversation with an agent about prospecting and business-building. She explained that because she hates to be pushed, she refuses to push others.

It was what she said next that caught my attention. She said that when she goes shopping at the mall, she does whatever she can to avoid eye contact with the sales clerks who approach her asking if they can help. She just wants to get in, make her purchase and get out, and doesn’t need the help of some commissioned salesperson trying to sell her something.

What if instead of avoiding eye contact and communication, she changed her paradigm and instead thought of this clerk as a potential client? How would her behavior change if she found out the clerk was getting married next month and was going to sell her condo and buy a new home with her new husband, who also had a house to sell?

Guess what? That scenario is entirely possible. Every time you leave the house and encounter others, every single one of them could have a real estate need or know someone who does.

Being pleasant can be as simple as making eye contact and smiling. You can step it up a notch by saying good morning or offering a sincere compliment. You can take it up another notch by looking for opportunities to open doors for other people. And of course, you can stop to pet a dog and tell the owner how cute he is (the dog, not the owner!).

Every time you leave the house, it’s likely you’re going places where there are people who will come within "being pleasant" distance.

For example, when you’re checking out at the grocery store, there are at least four people within three feet of you: the guy behind you, the lady ahead of you, the checkout clerk and the bagger. Maybe the manager wanders by. There you have five people to be pleasant to. If you go to the bank, consider going inside instead of driving-thru and there you’ll find another three or four or five people there to be pleasant to.

You don’t have to make conversation, aside from basic pleasantries. You won’t be assaulting everyone who comes within three feet of you with an elevator speech, or even to commenting on their attire. No, the concept is really simple—just be pleasant.

If you’re Pleasant to ten people a day, chances are that every few days you’ll be pleasant to the “right” person and you’ll start up a conversation that could lead to a client or referral. How do you get contact information from people you meet? You'll do so only when appropriate. If there’s a mutual rapport and both parties seem interested in continuing the relationship, then go for it.

Imagine if you have ten positive encounters every day with others? Being pleasant is a great way to expand your sphere of influence.

Published: April 28, 2011

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Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn was a top producing real estate broker in Denver, Colorado before writing her first book in 2007. Since then, she has written several more books about the business of selling real estate including her flagship book: Sell with Soul: Creating an Extraordinary Career in Real Estate without Losing Your Friends, Your Principles or Your Self-Respect, the sequel, If You're Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate, You're Not Doing it Right and her latest, to be released in Spring 2011, Prospect with Soul for Real Estate Agents. Jennifer believes that the secret of success for real estate agents is not in aggressive marketing techniques or hard-core sales pitches, but rather in being competent in one's craft. Competence begets Confidence. And in today's world of increasingly suspicious and ad-weary consumers, having an air of self-assurance and enthusiasm will be far more effective than a slick sales campaign. Jennifer writes and speaks with this philosophy in mind. She preaches that salespeople should follow the Golden Rule in their day-to-day practice of business - treating clients and prospects respectfully, as the salesperson him or herself would like to be treated. Being competent, reliable and fair, and motivated by a true desire to earn a paycheck, not just show up at closing with hand outstretched. She is a regular contributor to several real estate newsletters and magazines, a member of the RE/MAX Hall of Fame and one of the industry's most popular bloggers. You can learn more about Jennifer's "soulful" philosophies at www.SellWithSoul.com. Subscribe Below to Enroll in the Daily Seduction Newsletter Mini-Clinic - Tips and Strategies to Generate Business and Referrals From Your Sphere of Influence! Your Full Name Your Email Address