Parents Can Drive Themselves Insane Obsessing Over Schools

Written by Posted On Friday, 28 March 2014 15:38

The fact that schools drive home values in Atlanta is readily known by most. What’s interesting are the lengths some will go to find the “right home” in the “right school district”. It’s clear that in areas like East Cobb or Johns Creek even homes impacted by adverse external factors (power lines, roads, poor lots) eventually sell due to the strong positive influence of the area schools.

But what goes on behind the scenes, how do parents break down the data and conduct the research to find the “perfect” school? The Onion interviewed the Lindens, a couple from Virginia and pulled back the curtain on their search. What we see is a grueling and exhaustive process…

“Though our path may be treacherous, our will is unshakable and we embark with hopeful spirits in pursuit of this long-lost domain of nationally recognized elementary and secondary schools,” said Deborah Linden, who has reportedly spent many long nights poring over maps, standardized test data, and copies of U.S. News & World Report. “Whatever pitfalls we encounter—be they lottery-based admissions policies or steep home prices—we will not rest until our children are enrolled.” “We will find this hallowed place where Mandarin is offered in addition to French and Spanish, and where nearly a quarter of graduates attend their first-choice Ivy League college,” she continued, “or we will die trying.”

Clearly this is a couple with a clear objective…

“There are some who believe the perfect school district does not exist—that it is just an old tale handed down in whispered tones at PTA meetings and Kaplan Test Prep centers, and nothing more,” said Ken Linden, resolutely staring off into the distance. “But we know it is out there somewhere, and we believe its manifold rewards will be visited upon the children of those able to secure an open spot. Many have faltered in this quest, but we will succeed. We must succeed.” “When I close my eyes I can almost envision the quiz bowl team prepping for regional finals,” he added.

One might say, a bit to focused…

“Each time we thought we had finally found this long-foretold-of scholastic paradise it turned out to be no more than a mirage,” Deborah Linden said. “I know our journey may seem misguided, even mad to some, but these legendary places of learning where one-on-one counseling and tutoring are available from pre-K onward promise far too much for us to let them slip from our grasp.”

“’Cause there’s no way we’re letting our kids go to Richmond South,” she added. “That dump doesn’t even have an HD video production studio.”

Read about the Linden’s search for the perfect school by clicking here

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Hank Miller, SRA

Hank Miller is an Associate Broker & Certified Appraiser in the north metro Atlanta area. Since 1989, real estate has been his full time profession. Hank´s clients benefit from his appraisal and sales experience; they act upon data, not baseless opinions. He is an outspoken critic of the lax standards in the agent community.

Hank remains an active certified appraiser and completes specialty work for FNMA, lenders and attorneys. He is a well-known blogger and continues to guest write for multiple industry publications as well as national outlets like the WSJ, NYT, RE Magazine, USA Today and others. He is a regular on public Q&A sites on Zillow, Trulia and many others.

Hank consistently ranks in the top 1% of all agents in the metro Atlanta area. He runs the Hank Miller Team and is known as much for his ability as he is for his opinions. He is especially outspoken about the lack of professional standards and expectations in the real estate industry.

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