I recently had a close friend that was looking to buy a home in another state and did what any agent would do, looked through my network for qualified agents. I take my time and try to find someone that has a strong presence online, solid reputation, and are very active in the field. It's similar to online match-making, after all, this is a relationship in the making.

My choices were narrowed down to three and the phone calls began. The first agent picked up the phone and sounded the least bit friendly, almost like I was bothering her. I proceeded to talk about the referral and feel her out as a person. It couldn't be any clearer to me that she wasn't interested in working with a referral. After 15 seconds of absorbing her bad energy I just hung up. Does she handle all of her business this way?

The next call was to an agent that had a really strong profile and great website. At first she was a little stand-offish but warmed up and appreciated the referral.

I wanted to call the last person before making my decision, they were recommended by another agent I know. He returned my call within 24 hours and was definitely interested in the referral. Since this guy was partially walked in the door by my friend, it was an easier decision, I trusted him.

I proceeded to make the connection between buyer and agent and the happy house hunting began. A week into it I followed up with my friend to see how things are going. She told me that she liked the agent but felt he could be a little more organized and aggressive. I cringed a bit because this was my connection, and I take it personally. Overall the process went well but the buyer felt there was a lack of effort at times.

Now we get to the good stuff, was this because they agent had to pay out a referral fee? We'll never know for sure unless he tells us, which will most likely never happen. I'm not the only one that has ever thought this, I've spoken to buyers and sellers in the past that have as well. I know that there are PLENTY of agents that handle referrals beautifully and graciously, they get it.

In my eyes, the equation is simple- a referral is a way for us to build a relationship with an agent, home buyer, or seller. If you think about what can come from these relationships it blows away any immediate monetary compensation. Think about the future referrals you could receive from these people, the possibilities are endless. All that the agent needs to do is accept the referral, communicate with the referrer throughout the process, provide exceptional service to the client, and guide them through to closing. This is what we should do anyway, right? The way we interact with fellow agents is part of the service we provide to our clients.  Negative energy is a disservice.

Every interaction with another human being is an interview or chance to make an impression. What impression do you want to leave?