So, Tell Me Again, Why Aren’t You Good Enough?

Written by Posted On Thursday, 09 March 2023 00:00

Once upon a time, there once was a beautiful little girl. She was happy, and she was not aware of anything about herself that wasn’t, well, perfect. Then one day, someone told her she wasn’t beautiful, and she certainly was not perfect. She was shattered by this revelation,  and that made her start thinking….maybe I am just not good enough. 

Ever heard that story?  

Who was that imperfect person who told you that you didn’t measure up, or you weren’t like the other kids who were better, brighter, taller, smarter, or prettier? 

And did you ever wonder, who made them so perfect themselves to point out your imperfections? 

Let’s step back.  Here’s the truth. There was this situation where you had an experience, or you surmised through a contrast of some type, or some also imperfect person made a comment about you.  You may have only been a kid at the time, but that comment or experience created a story in YOUR head that was simply the opinion of someone else, another flawed human. 

It is time to let it go…

It is human nature from the moment we are born to need social acceptance. Babies that are not touched or engaged with will die. That survival need for acceptance is heightened during our formative years as we learn how to integrate socially. This focus on being accepted, liked, or even loved carries into our adult years as we make decisions about what we think “is” and how we fit or don’t fit into that “acceptable” group.

Can we rethink this?  What if the person who made that comment so long ago was feeling deprived themselves, and out of a need to feel superior, criticized that little you?  It just wasn’t true then, and it isn’t true now.

The one person we need to love is ourselves.  It sounds so mundane, but if we truly want to love and appreciate others, we have to start within.  You can’t love enough outside if there is little or nothing  inside. And you can’t love yourself enough if you reallyt believe that flawed story that you’re “not good enough.” 

One of our brilliant super coaches recently declared this was her year of “falling madly in love with herself” and she has plenty of reason to do so. She is not only brilliant, but beautiful, smart, insightful, educated, perceptive, and blessed with an extraordinarily loving spirit.  She’s the kind of person you just want to be around because you know you will learn something, observe a new thought, see through a new prospective, and feel great just being close to her energy…and you can be like that too!

So, here’s your homework: As super mentor Jim Rohn stated, “Work harder on yourself than you do on your job”. Start with that chatter in your brain; the incessant flow of words that demean and criticize you for every little misstep you think you take.  Replace those thoughts with gentler thoughts that include empathy, patience, fascination, tenderness, and love to that little person who was so misled many years ago.  Then take a step back as the universe responds.  Note the love that comes back to you when you so love your perfectly imperfect self. The love that is out there is endless…just open the door! 

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Terri Murphy

Terri Murphy, Communication engagement specialist, author, speaker, consultant, and Master Coach with Workman Success. She is the author of 5 books, TedTalk speaker and co-radio host on Contact: or Email: [email protected]

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