In our business, many times we create special ties with home buyers and sellers. and as such are invited to their housewarmings, baby showers, graduations, dinner parties, wedding, golf outings and sometimes even an event related to their business. I'm always honored to be invited, but in these social situations, it is important to tread carefully. Here are some hints to make your foray into the personal lives of your clients a positive one.
When an R.S.V.P. is requested, do it in a timely manner. And this means giving a firm yes or no, forget about maybe. Often the host or hostess needs a headcount for reservations or food preparation.
If the invitation doesn't have your children's names on it, they're not invited. Some events are for adults only.
Arrive on time or no more than fifteen minutes late. If traffic is holding you up, call and let the host or hostess know. Events such as weddings call for punctuality, period.
If you RSVP'd yes, and you don't show or call, you have blown someone's important event off. You're in trouble socially, send flowers and a believable apology, and cross your fingers.
Turn off your cell phone. I've gone to many a party where other real estate agents are there, and guests have said to me they thought it was rude that the agent spent the whole time on the phone, or was negotiating a contract and all the other guests heard the terms of the transaction. Leave business at the office.
Dress appropriately. If you're not sure how to dress, overdress for an event. Or ask the host what the dress code for the event will be.
Formal: Black tie (tuxedo) for men, floor length gowns for women.
Black tie preferred, optional or invited: Tuxedo is the preferred choice for men, if the man does wear a tux then the women should be in a formal floor length gown. However, if the man does not wear a tux, he will wear a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie. A women in this case will wear a short dinner gown or an evening suit, a skirt with matching jacket.
Dressy casual: Dress pants with matching jackets, but no tie for men and dresses or dark pantsuits for women.
Business casual: Pressed dress pants or khaki twills with a collared shirt, but no tie. Never wear jeans to a business casual event. Socks and belts required for men. Women can wear pants or skirts with hose and a collared shirt. No flip-flops.
Casual. Typically anything goes, but if you have never been with the host or hostess and it says casual, it's better to over-dress to you have a better understanding of how they define casual.
Don't drink too much. Moderation is the key.
Don't swear, talk about politics or religion. Consider them quick-sand.
Bring a host or hostess a gift for a dinner party. A nice box of chocolates or a bottle of wine is enough.
Don't be the last one to leave, or be asked to leave. Don't laugh, because it happens all the time.
If the event calls for a gift, such as a wedding, shower or graduation, don't over-spend. You want a mid-priced gift. Excessive gifts make the recipient uneasy.
Send a thank-you note by snail mail within a week of the event. Purchase some nice stationary, write a couple of sentences, place your business card inside. Don't use business stationary.
Introduction etiquette. A less important person is introduced to a VIP. A man is introduced to a woman. A younger person is introduced to an older person.
Talk to others to get them to talk about themselves. Ask follow-up questions and don't interrupt. A first time question is: How do you know the host or get involved in the organization? Second time at an event: I remembered you from last time, how is business, family, and your vacation?
Prepare your verbal business card in advance, who are you? Always use your first and last name with action words to describe your business.
If a newcomer joins your group, weave them into the conversation. They'll appreciate it. Don't ask yes or no questions.
Published: November 27, 2006
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Mark Nash is a Chicago-based residential real estate author, broker and columnist. Mark's analysis, tips and trends are featured in national magazines, newspapers, on network and cable television. His annual year-end forecast; "What's In, What's Out with Homebuyers" is utilized by more than 500 news organizations in North America.
Mark's books include: 1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home, Real Estate A-Z for Buying & Selling a Home, Fundamentals of Marketing for Real Estate Professionals, Starting & Succeeding in Real Estate and Reaching Out: The Financial Power of Niche Marketing.
He is broker associate with Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage and his real estate analysis has been featured on: Bloomberg Television, CBS News, CNN, Fox News, HGTV.com, The New York Times, The Today Show, and The Washington Post. The Library of Congress in Washington, D.C. featured Nash in March 2007.