Wednesday, 03 June 2020

Why Do I Feel so Bogged Down?

Written by Posted On Friday, 08 May 2020 05:00

What the heck is happening to your energy level? You know you are getting the required sleep, doing okay with diet and exercise, and yet you feel so bogged down!

It may be that endless list of tiny little annoyances and to-do’s that dog you every time you see, think, or get reminded of yet another demand of your time and energy.

Super coach and successful entrepreneur, Sandy Newman shares why these drains can take control of your life, zap your energy, and steal your joy.  

It starts with a few questions. When you focus in and give attention to what you are tolerating, it is easy to see why these energy drains are costing you much more than you know.

Newman recommends you ask yourself these questions:

What is it you REALLY want and what is stopping you?

If you aren’t going where you really want to go, then you have to identify what is taking you off track. When you look at what you are tolerating, you see where your time and energy is draining away.  With a simple process, you can eliminate these attention draining items that create yet another category of “I just can’t get it all done” syndrome.

What are you putting off and why ?

Let’s face it! Our to-do lists are endless! Coach Sandy suggests you make a list of your top 10 that are easy fixes. From getting a button replaced to fixing a broken drawer yields some satisfaction and gets a few of the bothersome items off your list and yes…it feels GOOD! If they have lived on your to-do list for ages, it’s time to get it done or dump it. Clearly even you don’t think the action is so important to you, or it would have been done by now.  

Notice where you have clutter.

Clutter is a constant visual distraction.  Look at your desk and notice how the clutter of “I’ll get to that sticky note thing” distracts your attention every single time your eye connects to that demanding little piece of paper.  Make your immediate space neat and in order. Throw at least 10 items away and help create an orderly space that diminishes your attention to all those “projects and to-do’s” that keep hijacking your attention and ultimately your energy.

Decide: Is it Important or Urgent?

Take control of your schedule by blocking out some “gap” time between appointments.  Somedays it is a “shock collar kind of day” with urgencies that show up that take you off course.  Sandy says by scheduling yourself too tightly you appear to be “too busy” to allow opportunities to appear.  Block out 15 minutes a day to just “be”:  No phone, social media. Just sit and be. Clearing your mind allows creativity to surface. If you appear so rigid in your schedule, you may miss great opportunities that would otherwise be profitable and joyful.

Just say No!

To keep her coaching clients accountable, they BOTH decide on a homework assignment to show progress and mitigate toleration issues.  She shares her recommendation to record a minimum of five (5) times during a week that you say NO.  Remember that when you say YES to someone else, you say NO to you.  Over time you can become frustrated and exhausted from taking care of everybody’s agenda items but your own.

Set up better boundaries.  

We have all experienced the “bullies” in our lives. You know, the ones that use force and tone that violate our space and time.  Newman shares an exceptional formula to keep the boundaries intact and to “train” others to respect those boundaries.

Sandy shares that one of her own personal boundaries is that no one is allowed to shout at her, so the formula to manage the invasion of that boundary looks like this:

It starts with these words:  “Are you aware?” Are you aware you are shouting at me? Notice that the tone of voice is always neutral and firm.

If the other person continues to shout, the next step is to say: “I REQUEST that…" I request that you speak to me in a calm voice”. If the person continues to shout, she moves to the third boundary recommendation. 

If the other person continues after making them aware and requesting that they stop yelling, the next step is to say, “I INSIST…" “I INSIST that you speak to me in a calm voice” 

If the yelling persists, she says to leave the room until the other person “gets” the idea you are not willing to tolerate this type of behavior.    Newman states that you don’t have to retrain the same person repeatedly, as they get the idea that this shouting thing is a non-negotiable boundary.  Setting boundaries teaches others how to treat you.  We set the standards of behavior ourselves, so confidently set boundaries and you will eliminate repeatedly tolerating those issues that violate your joy.

Ramp up your self-care.

Want to set a good example for your family, kids, and co-workers?  Taking extreme care of yourself sends a message of healthy personal value.  Self-care energizes you and makes you more attractive.  

Saying “self-care” can be a bit ambiguous, so Sandy says make a list of ten (10) things you enjoy doing.  Choose two (2) and make it happen. What gives you pleasure gives you more energy. There is a reason they call it “recreation”.  “Re-Creation” allows energy for “re-freshment” and “resting” the mind to allow more creativity and gets you off slogging through the never-ending to-do lists that will change and grow every day. 

When you take stock of the hundreds of little things that distract and drain you, it is easy to see why we become overwhelmed and energy depleted.  Make real strides to conserve that precious energy for living your life large and do or forget the small stuff. 

Listen to Sandy’s interview with Terri Murphy below! 


 A bit about Sandy:

SNewman JEPG

Since 1998, Sandy Newman has been a sought after Business coach and consultant.
Sandy was the rare female CEO in the industry of the manufacturing of corrugated boxes. As CEO of Raritan Packaging Industries, she managed teams and production for the manufacturing of custom made corrugated boxes and a distributor of packing supplies since 1974.

She operated a shared office facility and parking lot. Sandy is the past president of the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association and New Jersey Association of Women Business Owners.

To contact Business and Life Coach, Sandy Newman, email her at: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or call: 732-763-9210

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Terri Murphy

Terri Murphy, Communication engagement specialist, author, speaker, consultant, and Master Coach with Workman Success.  She is the author of 5 books, TedTalk speaker and co-radio host on KWAMtheVoice.com. Contact: TerriMurphy.com or Email: Terri@TerriMurphy.com

https://terrimurphy.com

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