I believe it was businessman and personal development guru Jim Rohn who famously said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Most of us tend to hang out and spend time with people who are doing more or less the same sort of things we do. For example, your friends probably take the same sort of vacations you do, eat at the same type of restaurants you eat at and drive the same type of car you do. Granted, these things might not be identical, but my guess is that if you drive a Honda, the friends you hang out with are not driving a Ferrari. Or, if your limit is $150.00 on a fancy dinner for you and your partner, I doubt your friends spend $500.00 or more on a meal without cringing when they reach for their wallet. So how do we up-level from where we are now to where we want to be?

First and foremost, you have to up-level who you are spending time with. There is a reason why super successful people hang around other super successful people. Generally speaking, highly successful individuals tend to think bigger. They have high ambition and want to challenge themselves. They don’t like to do what feels easy and comfortable. In fact, they are comfortable being uncomfortable. And before you think that it’s easy for them because they were born that way or they had money to start out, or whatever other excuse your mind runs to, I can tell you that this is b.s. Many of the richest and most successful individuals are self-made. However, they didn’t get that way on their own but surrounded themselves with high achieving people.

So how do you get out of the small pond you are in and start swimming with the big fish? The first step is recognizing where you are at and where you want to get to. Focus on the destination. Where is it that you are trying to go? Who is living the life that you want to be living? What would it take for you to live the lifestyle that you want to be living? Where do you want to vacation? What house to you want to be living in? What car do you want to be driving? Paint the picture in your mind of who you are and how you are living. Envision the type of family you want and everything in between. Next, take an honest look at how you are living now and who you are hanging around. I think if you took a hard look at what you do on a daily and weekly basis and who you spend most of your time with, you will be able to see a pattern. You will see that you are doing things and spending time with people that are not getting you to the level you want to be at. You are going to have to change this. It will be painful but, in my experience, it is more painful to continue living the way you are now.

Here is where the fun begins. Let’s say that you really want to be living like Richard Branson or Mark Cuban. There is nothing wrong with that and I’d say I’m right there with you. But chances are Richard and Mark aren’t going to be answering your phone calls and grabbing drinks with you… at least not yet. Their friends and the people they socialize with may not yet be available to you just yet either. But, if you are making $50-$150k, there are a lot people doing much better than you and making a lot less than the 4.1-billion-dollar net worth of Mark Cuban.

Take a look at your existing network. If you are a Realtor, you probably have some sort of access to top Realtors in your community. You could reach out to them directly and ask for 10-minutes of their time. Or, you could ask someone who knows them for an introduction or happen to find yourself at events that they go to. Don’t be shy and don’t let your ego get in the way. Remember, chances are, they were where you are now at some point in their career. Or maybe you have a very successful client. Have you asked for an introduction to his or her friends? If you did a great job, they would probably be glad to help you out.

Successful people all around you. It is up to you to first determine who you want to be and the life you want to live and then to decide who you need to be around to help make that happen. This is your life and you get to create the life you want but no one does it on their own. We need help along the way. Yes, there will be jerks who don’t want you to succeed and may even actively root against you. However, there will be many more who remember their journey and will be more than glad to lend a helping hand. Spend some time thinking about who is living the life you want and then get out there and start spending time with them. And as Zig Ziglar says, “I’ll see you at the top.”