Popular gurus in the sales world tout mastering scripts and tightly choreographing presentations as the best way to increase your business. I beg to differ. While scripts and choreography can be useful, I believe the most valuable thing you can bring to any presentation is a totally focused and fully present you.

Relying on scripts and pouring your energy into trying to control every aspect of an interaction may instead create a separation between you and your prospect, cut off the possibility of creating a strong connection with them, and hurt your business. But there is another powerful possibility. According to Stanford teacher Patricia Ryan Madson and bestselling author Stephen Lundin, Ph.D. the best way to prepare for a presentation may be to actually prepare less, but show up more.

When I first started in real estate I did what many new agents do, I went to every sales seminar I could go to. I bought tapes and sales programs, and tried to master them. I hired a couple of sales coaches and paid them big money to berate me for not doing and saying exactly what they had instructed. I quickly filled a bookshelf with thousands of dollars worth of training material that were briefly utilized, discovered unfulfilling, and then relegated to a dusty shelf.

As a newby, I believed I needed all the fancy scripts to tell me what to say, because I was afraid to let prospects see I wasn't the polished expert I wanted them to think I was. I tried everything and what I learned was that all of it worked, but only for a short time. In the process, I exhausted myself trying to be what the scripts and coaching told me I should be.

Then I made a simple, and powerful, discovery that quickly built my business, got me recognized as a Super Agent, and gave me a whole lot more satisfaction. I discovered that when I put the scripts away and quit trying to mimic the gurus, I was able to more fully connect with my clients.

Patricia Ryan Madson says, "Don't prepare, just show up!" She says it's an approach that helps you focus on who and what is around you. "If you over prepare," she says, "you might miss the present." In other words, putting too much effort into learning scripts and techniques may prevent you from connecting deeply with your prospects, and that's where more satisfaction, and increased commissions, live.

Dr. Lundin, and his writing partner, takes you on a journey that teaches you about the tools street performers use to build Natural Energy and connect with an audience. They show how one tired salesman re-energizes his business by letting go of control and embracing the "mess" of human relations. I've used the ideas in my own business and found them deeply rewarding -- both personally, and financially.

One idea I really like from their book is "Mine the Mess." This simply means that everything is material. Pictures on the bookshelf, rumpled paper in the wastebasket, or golf club leaning in the corner, can all be things you can play with and use to build connections with your clients. For instance, if you walk into a presentation and see pictures of kids on the wall, use it. All you have to do is ask your client about their kids and watch them open up. Instant connection!

The trick is to use "Mine the Mess" as a key to help you stay totally present to what's important to your client or prospect. If you're too wrapped up in your scripts and strategies it's easy to miss the hundreds of little opportunities, the "messes," that are always around you, and that can cost you the chance to build the types of personal connections that payoff in increased business and customer loyalty.

When you "prepare less, but show up more" it's easier to key in on what most interests your clients, and it's a whole lot more fun than trying to remember a script. When you spend more time talking about what interests your clients, and less time trying to dole out the words of your scripts, you'll discover that you don't need to work so hard to get their business, instead, getting their business becomes a natural, and almost effortless, outcome of the connection you built with them.

So the next time your preparing for a presentation, or any client interaction, don't waste all of your time in preparation. Simply gather the materials you may need, then spend the rest of your time focusing yourself on bringing all of you to the meeting. Show up and do what is most natural for human beings -- Connect!