It’s wedding season, which means that it is also homebuying season. Some newlyweds already have a fresh threshold to step over, but others start scouting out potential new roofs weeks or months after they exchange their vows.

For many married couples, that first-time home purchase is a milestone decision equal in weight to their decision to get married in the first place. After the stress and energy of a wedding, buying a first home can feel, quite simply, overwhelming.

There’s no need to turn a home purchase into a stressor, particularly if you are both mindful throughout the entire process. In this post, I’ll discuss tips for navigating the pathway to your dream home with as much ease as possible.  

Understand and Clarify Your Financial Relationship

At the end of the day, buying your first home together is a significant financial decision. It is essential to understand your financial standing as a couple before diving into mortgages and realtor profiles.

This may feel like a bit of a letdown after planning a wedding. After all, choosing bridesmaid dresses and calling caterers, while potentially stressful, is ultimately a pleasure—no one likes to talk nitty gritty numbers after such a special day.

For this reason, take your time. There’s no need to boil all of those digits down in an afternoon. Have multiple frank conversations about each partner’s individual financial standing. Only then should you begin to discuss the nature of your financial relationship as a whole.

You may have already merged your finances as a married couple, or perhaps you’ve decided to keep separate accounts or a mix of shared and independent. Be sure to present all numbers honestly, being generous with any estimates and honest about future income sources.

Now is also the time to check both of your credit scores. Credit is essential when it comes to a home purchase and can determine whether or not you will need a co-signer for a mortgage. Learn more about getting your finances in order for a home purchase here.

Lastly, identify all outstanding debt, including credit card balances, personal loans, car loans, and additional debt. In conjunction with other monthly financial obligations, these numbers will influence your home purchase budget and system.

Establish a System and a Budget

Ease future mortgage headaches now by establishing a realistic budget and a system for managing mortgage-related finances together.

Your budget should emerge from your combined assessment of current debt and income sources, as well as any notable upcoming costs. Make use of free online mortgage calculators to figure out how monthly mortgage payments will fit into the scope of your financial standing and, ultimately, to choose a maximum value for your future home’s price tag.

Decide how you will approach home costs in the future. Many opt for a 50/50 split, but others are more comfortable with different proportions, depending on employment and income levels. Also, decide how any mortgage payments will be made—will you source from a joint checking account, for example?

Now is the time to gather all relevant documents for your home purchase, too. These include credit reports, prior year’s tax returns, proof of employment, pay stubs, driver’s licenses, and other forms of identification.

Identify Goals and Dreams

This is often the fun part of home selection as newlyweds. With your finances squarely in tow, identify what both of your goals are—individual and mutual.

What kind of home will work for both of you, given these goals? What type of space suits your professional and personal needs? Will you eventually start a family?

Communicate openly here and make sure both parties are heard. It can be helpful to write down these goals and dreams and post them in a prominent place. The home search can be an intimidating and dizzying process and having these goals as a consistent reminder can ease the process.

Research Prospective Lenders Together

The more collaborative the home purchase process, the better. Research your mortgage options together, deciding whether or not a conventional home loan will be ideal for you or if you qualify for another type of mortgage, such as an FHA loan.

Next, identify prospective lenders. Look at both local and national providers, as these will all offer different loan terms and rates depending on your mortgage needs and financial standing.

Prioritize the lenders that are respectful of your needs, naturally. But also look for lenders who are interested in communication. A lender who is interested in building a relationship with clients is far more likely to make your home purchase a positive experience in the long run.

Take Your Time

For some newlyweds, there is immense pressure to purchase a home immediately. Yet if you are not compelled by a specific, urgent situation to buy your first home, give yourself the luxury of time.

This is an exciting moment for both of you, and the more you can savor it and approach each step mindfully, the more likely you are to be happy with the results. Give yourself a generous timeline and be sure to move forward only when you both feel comfortable.

Be Practical (As Well as Emotional)

Emotions often sway purchase decisions, particularly when it comes to homes. It’s important to indulge in the emotional aspect of a first home, but do be sure to stay practical at key times.

For example, it’s all too easy to fudge your budget a bit once you discover that dream home; however, be mindful of how much you can fudge and how much you really cannot. Foreclosure is an all too painful reality for some married couples and families.

You may wish to refer to an objective party here. Consult with family members and friends for advice along the way. At the very least, they will appreciate being a part of the process and can help you feel confident in your decision.

Above all, always keep the future in mind. Knowing what is next from a financial and emotional perspective can ensure that you invest in the home that is truly right for both of you.